I once saw a t-shirt that read “Motherhood: the scariest hood you will ever go though.” And while I am probably not going to trade in my beloved Cracker Barrel tee, the obvious truth of the quote did stick with me.
Motherhood is a journey, and while it can feel mundane most days, there are moments along the way that change you. These moments are usually small and seemingly unnoticeable, like, “Giving my son a phone in 7th grade was a seriously bad idea. This kid never comes out of his room!” Or “I should probably tone down the amount of time my daughter spends on YouTube.” My son may or may not have started speaking with a British accent after a good long run with Peppa Pig. No mom-shame here though, right?
And then of course there are natural changes as you become more comfortable with this whole motherhood thing. Yes, it’s okay for my son to walk to the mailbox alone, and no, I don’t need to follow behind him like a foreign spy making sure he doesn’t get kidnapped and sold on the black market.
Every so often though, there are bigger ones, and like mighty waves in the ocean, they can rock you.
Let me share.
Uncovering the Lies I Carried In My Heart
I had just moved to a new country, (more on that super fun transition later) and had just started going to a new church. I was invited to join a small group, and although I had no idea what I was signing up for, I wanted to make friends and get connected. If I am being completely honest with you, I had just spoon fed my kids a large load of “put yourself out there and try to be brave,” so I figured I should lead by example.
The group started the following week, and we began to go through “Flourish” by Pastor Julie Mullins.
Full disclosure: As I worked through the book, I came to realize that although I seemingly had it all together on the outside, there were some old hurts buried on the inside. There were lies that had been written deep in my heart. Some by me and some by others, but they were there just the same. I realized that I knew that God loved me, but I didn’t actually know what that meant.
Every time I was picked last at school, or not invited to the birthday party, or hurt by a friend, a lie had been written on my heart. And after so many lies were written, I started to believe them.
They eventually became a part of the way I carried myself. It wasn’t even obvious to me until going through the study that these lies had affected my walk with God and with others. What good was it to say God loved me if I still lived out my life believing what I thought about myself?
What Truths Are You Etching Into Your Child’s Heart?
And even though the book was for me and it did incredible work in me, something still hit me hard that I wasn’t expecting. I have daughters. I have sons. What kind of lies had been written on their hearts? Some by me (gut punch) and some by others? And that just made me sad.
As a mom, all I want to do is protect them. I had done a good job of that physically, (I see you mailbox kidnapper), but did I guard their hearts? Did I do a good enough job of teaching them, not just that God loves them but the evidence of that through scripture? Did I speak life over them and choose my words carefully? Did I treat motherhood not just as a job but as a ministry? No, I must admit I didn’t. I wasn’t horrible by any means, but what would I have said or did differently if I had known it would be etched on their tiny little hearts?
When my daughter came home from school upset after kids called her annoying, did I take the time to sit with her and read Psalm 139? Did I show her in scripture that she is fearfully and wonderfully made?
When my son was discouraged and struggled with thoughts of failure, did I read him John 15:16 and remind him that he was chosen and appointed by God?
Did I take the time to replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of God’s word?
When my kids got on my nerves, did I say things that would cause them to believe anything less that what God says about them?
And then it hit me. As a mother, we have the power to do so much more than you can even imagine. You see, the enemy would love for us to think that as moms, the everyday mundane tasks don’t matter. That the life spent in between all the big moments was just time passing. But as moms we are so much more than that; we are called to so much more than that.
A Mom’s Most Important Duty: Protecting Your Child’s Self-Worth
Protecting your child’s self-worth means helping them know who God says they are. The enemy doesn’t stand a chance against a son or daughter who knows who they are in Christ. I can’t help but wonder where I would be today if I had learned the truth of God’s word for me way back then.
Sometimes I think I get it wrong. After all, motherhood is a journey, not a destination. If we keep waiting for some milestone down the road, we are going to miss the opportunity that God has placed in you right now: to raise up these kids in the way they should go, to cultivate the soil of their hearts through our words and our actions so that God can cause his seeds to flourish.
God knew what he was doing when he chose you to be their mom. It was a partnership in ministry to proclaim and prepare the goodness of God to the next generation. That is an incredible calling we should never take for granted.
The waves of this revelation washed over me and hit me hard, but I am so grateful that God met me in that moment with grace and compassion.
Maybe you are in the same leggings you wore three days ago, with babies and toddlers wreaking havoc, or maybe your kids are grown or off to college. It doesn’t matter; it is never too late to step into the calling that God has placed within you. You are called to ministry and being a mom is one of the greatest callings you will ever receive.
“Be sure to carry out the ministry the Lord gave you.” — Colossians 4:17
