Create Healthy Relationships in Your Grit and Grace Life

Here Are 13 Things Only Siblings Will Get

There are some things that only siblings understand because you’ve known each other the longest. Have a laugh and share with your sibling(s): 1. You ask the waitress to change your order because your younger sibling just copied yours (so annoying). 2. They’re the person you want to be like the most, although you’d never admit it because they don’t really embrace the whole “imitation is the highest form of flattery” thought process (review point number 1). 3. When your new shirt is missing, you know exactly who took it… 4. When the guy you like likes your sister. Maddening. When it’s your younger sister—even worse. 5. The sheer satisfaction you get when your sibling gets in trouble instead of you. 6. When […]

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What Your Grieving Friend Really Wants You to Know 2019

What Your Grieving Friend Wants You to Know

By Amber Koehn / Relationships

When I first lost my mom, I had so many well-meaning friends, and relatives offer help, advice, and words of encouragement. The outpouring of support was amazing, yet a little overwhelming at the same time. Everyone meant well, and I certainly appreciated the sentiments, but it was difficult for me to express what I really needed at any given time. It wasn’t until I started speaking with several friends and relatives who also lost loved ones that I discovered I wasn’t alone. Several told me they too, had a difficult time figuring out how to help their friends help them through the grieving process. People have a tendency to want to “fix” the bereaved, but many times, all we’re looking for is

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Establishing Healthy Boundaries in the Grit and Grace Life

By Karen DeVault / Relationships

Healthy personal boundaries are the key to healthy relationships. Without them, healthy relationships are impossible. Yes, you heard that right. Impossible. That is because boundaries provide a necessary and very important distinction between yourself and other people. It is where you end and others begin, and vice versa. Every kind of relationship can benefit from healthy personal boundaries, whether it’s a spouse, boyfriend, co-worker, family member, friend, child, or parent. What Are Boundaries? Boundaries are described as guidelines, rules, or limits that determine the safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around you or treat you. They are based on your beliefs, values, preferences, likes, and dislikes, and help you develop a healthy and secure sense of “self.” They also

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3 Things to Do When You Feel Broken and Unlovable

By Jessica Harris / Relationships

How many of us can honestly say we’ve made it through life with no regrets? It seems almost inevitable that we’ll make some poor decision, say something wrong, or choose the wrong door at some point. But what do you do when it feels like your choices make you unlovable? Years ago, I sat on a hilltop in North Dakota with my then-boyfriend. I knew within hours of my plane landing that this relationship wasn’t going to work out. We weren’t connecting, and I had followed him all over his rain-soaked farm more like a lost duckling than an endearing girlfriend. As the wind whipped against the side of the truck, he stared out the windshield, tears welling in his eyes. I

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7 Money Tips When You Are Thinking Marriage

7 Money Tips When You’re Thinking Marriage

By Darlene Brock / Work & Money, Relationships

Before you take the plunge from dating to marriage, there are a few things that you and that “oh he’s so darn cute and sweet—nothing else matters!” guy you’re smitten with need to discuss. One biggie that every couple needs to have a serious conversation about is money. Yep, the subject we all want to avoid… but this is one of the top issues that lead to divorce. So a smart girl takes care of business applying these money tips before it ever becomes a problem. Here are the top money tips you need to know and do: 1. Talk about it! You need to discuss everything before you put on that wedding dress, so don’t avoid this subject; jump in. It

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If Your Man Didn’t Propose (But Should Have) Read This

By Dr. Zoe / Relationships

To the girl who didn’t get the engagement you were expecting, this is what you need to do to finally get a commitment… You tried not to get your hopes up, but deep down you feel like it is time. He’s the man of your dreams and he says you are the woman of his. You’ve been together long enough for him to know if he wants to make that big commitment. And it doesn’t help that it seems like everyone’s boyfriend is popping the question these days! Maybe you were hoping it would happen over the holidays… Then, Valentine’s Day… Or, perhaps you were daydreaming about the perfectly planned summer proposal leading to a beautiful fall marriage. You even dropped some

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How to Know if Your Boyfriend is a Charity Case

By Dr. Zoe / Relationships

Defining a Fixer What is a “fixer”? A fixer is someone who feels best when helping others. If they see someone who is less fortunate, their first inclination is to try to remedy the situation. They have a keen sense of the unfairness in the world and strive to correct it. They will volunteer to help and are generally charitable people. If you recognize that you are a fixer, that’s great! It’s a wonderful quality to have. Fixers are nurturing, giving, and empathic. They often do a great amount of good, meaningful work in this world—think Mother Teresa and Ghandi. But unfortunately, many fixers expand that need to fix into their romantic relationships, causing devastation for all. Ask Yourself These to Know if

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My Boyfriend Brings Me Flowers, Is That Enough?

By Darlene Brock / Relationships

Your boyfriend brings you flowers, treats you to dinner, and maybe even buys you a gift. Sweet things that indicate he could be the “rest of my life” partner but is that all you want? Or perhaps that’s what he did when you first started dating, but less so now. And the other things you might be looking for haven’t yet appeared. Maybe you’ve compromised on some things you thought were important. Or accepted some that you didn’t think you would accept. This happens to nearly every woman who is seeking that ever-after relationship. The concessions don’t happen quickly; they occur slowly, often without even realizing you’re giving up what you thought you had found. Settling for the opposite of what you

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Is He Unhappy in Marriage or Mid-Life Crisis?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Johanna’ Asked: How do I work on my marriage when my husband tells me everything in his life is in the air right now , he’s unhappy in marriage OR tells you “I’m sorry I’ve been living your life. You wanted kids and to get married, not me!” We’ve been together for 17 years now. How can I move on from that? I’m hurting right now. Dr. Zoe Answered: Your husband is going through something right now that’s making him question all of his choices in life. Unfortunately, that includes you and the kids, too. Maybe it’s true that he felt pressured to get married and have children. Maybe it’s actually that he’s unhappy in marriage, with how his life is turning

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How to Approach a Disconnected Husband

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Dealing With My Disconnected Husband’ Asked: How do you approach your husband when he seems completely disconnected and like he has checked out? I have tried bringing it up in casual conversation with him so it doesn’t seem as though I am accusing or nagging, but he literally just ignores talking about it and says he just doesn’t want to be around people or talk about it. I need help on how to address this without pushing him away further! Loving and Worried Midwest Wife Dr. Zoe Answered: Hi Dealing With My Disconnected Husband, When your spouse is disconnected from you, it can feel like you are lost in a desert with no hope of water. You said that he doesn’t want

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Just Have That Hard Conversation (And How to Do It)

By Darlene Brock / Relationships

Have you ever had that sick, anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach? The one that occurs when you know there’s a hard conversation you need to have with someone you don’t want to have it with? Or maybe they don’t want to have it with you. A misunderstanding has occurred—or even worse—they are heading down a road you know you can’t let them travel without at least having an honest discussion before they do. In reality, it’s the last thing you want to take on. A tooth extraction seems more pleasant. But one thing I do know is if there’s a conversation you’ve been avoiding, it’s usually the one you need to have. Nothing will change if you don’t deal with

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woman with hands clasped to her face in a therapist's office as an act of self-care when you've been cheated on

6 Essential Acts of Self-Care When You’ve Been Cheated On

By Nica Collins / Relationships

Twenty-four hours after my husband brought me coffee in bed, slipped on his apron, and helped our young daughters execute the world’s best Mother’s Day omelet, he locked eyes with the woman who would become his affair partner. It was a regular Monday morning, and his steps were like clockwork. He’d leave home by 5:30 a.m. to drive into the city, park his truck, breeze through TSA, and enjoy coffee and a pastry in the lounge before walking toward his gate. His professional success had elevated his status to the highest tier on the airline, granting him automatic upgrades to business class, lie-down seats on his overseas flights, access to flagship lounges, and personal calls from airline personnel to let him know

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To the Single Woman Searching for True Love

By Ashley Johnson / Relationships

After tossing and turning for an hour last night, I finally got out of bed and began reading an old journal. There’s something about looking back on the things that used to occupy my mind—things that are now resolved and long forgotten—that settles me. There was one journal entry that caused me to reach for my phone at 4 a.m. and text my best friend, the one person I can text in the wee hours of the night and not think twice about it. I read something that my 23-year-old self scribbled off the cuff… words of gratitude for my best friend and a prayer over her life. What a gift to experience a bond that remained and deepened over 10 years,

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Being an Adult Child of Divorce—at the Holidays

By Carolyn Gordon / Relationships

As an adult child of divorce, there are many tricky dynamics and raw emotions that are bound to arise. Now, throw in a heaping dose of family togetherness, eye-to-eye conversations around the dinner table, and memories from the past that tend to creep in this time of year and it can make for an interesting scene. It’s a club I never anticipated being a member of, but I am learning not just to survive this time of year, but to find new ways to cherish it and embrace it even more. Here are some of the things I have slowly learned when it comes to divorce. What you need to know as an adult child of divorce (especially at the holidays) 1.

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Want to Be in Style? Spreading Kindness Is Always Beautiful

By Amber Koehn / Health & Beauty, Relationships

“I always say that kindness is the greatest beauty that you can have.” –Actress, Andie MacDowell I will be the first to tell anyone that I am not an expert when it comes to beauty and style. I’ve never really been up to date on the latest fashion or beauty trends. For instance, I have this old, comfy sweatshirt. I got it for Christmas in eighth grade (1993). It is fuzzy and cream-colored with a plaid pig right in the middle. It says “Ham Wear” in faded letters across the front. And I still wear it…in public. My husband teases me every time it’s cold enough to pull that sweatshirt out of the closet. He can’t believe that: 1. It still fits

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grandma hugging her son in front of a Christmas tree

It Really Is the Thought That Counts—My Grandma’s Gifts Proved It

By Kimberly Trigo / Relationships

Sometimes something isn’t special while it’s happening. It isn’t a memory or has no significance until much later in your life. My grandma’s gifts are a prime example of that. As the holidays approach and things in our families change over the years, I have been reflecting a lot on holidays past and what I want to share with my children and what I hope they will share with theirs. In recent years, our family has changed the way it looks. My brother and I have lost our parents, while my husband and I have had our twins. Boy, have they made the holidays magical, and nothing says magic like children at Christmas. Another change in our family was that our grandma

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family members of different ages gathered around a table for Thanksgiving and the grandfather carving the turkey, exemplifying the power of intergenerational relationships

The Joy Series: The Overlooked Power of Intergenerational Relationships

By Brianna Barrett / Relationships

As we sit down to dinner and I look around at the faces looking back at me, several things resonate with me. There’s a span of 73 years between the oldest to the youngest at the table. The youngest just turned fifteen and started driving, while the oldest is barely driving anymore as he approaches his 89th birthday. The conversations range from what was on the news that day to stories from years ago. This isn’t a holiday or special celebration—it’s just our normal dinner. Four generations gather around the table to fellowship and break bread. I consider each one’s preferences when planning meals, and my parents share in the responsibilities of meal preparation even though we don’t live under the same

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