Create Healthy Relationships in Your Grit and Grace Life

mother-in-law and daughter sitting next to eachother on the couch drinking coffee and smiling and trying to build peaceful relationships

The Joy Series: 6 Traits of a Mother-in-Law Who Wants to Build Peaceful Relationships

Yes, the joy! I’m not trying to sweeten up the truth. Being a mother-in-law is not for sissies. And if you feel drawn to whine about how it’s going for you, Google can point you to more than two billion sites telling you how to improve your approach. Or, if you want that pity party (and some days we need one), look up mother-in-law jokes. My search came up with 61,800,000 sites touting mother-in-law jokes, with only about half that amount about fathers-in-law! 1. Lawyer to his client: “Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order a burial, embalming, or cremation?” The son-in-law replied, “Let’s not take chances. Order all three.” 2. How many Mothers-in-law does it take to change […]

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older couple walking outside hand in hand

The Joy Series: Marrying Later in Life Brought Unexpected Beauty and Delight

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships

Dan and I both marvel at how easy it was to transition from widowhood to being married again—almost as if we’d known each other all our lives. And oh, the joy of remarrying later in life. Because when you lose a good thing, and when goodness eventually replaces the loss, it seems so much sweeter. It’s not that I meant to take anything for granted in my first marriage. But as the years passed, I got used to the stability and the faithfulness and the companionship. And then I found myself doing road trips alone. And snowshoeing the trails in the Cascade Mountains alone. And holding Friday date night alone (I know… weird, but it was part of my brave-making campaign as

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Is Compromise in Marriage the Only Way? Try This Instead

By Amanda-Lee Pitzer / Relationships

I remember sitting in pre-marital counseling 20 years ago listening to the pastor go through all sorts of items before I got married the first time. I don’t remember too much, to be honest, but I do remember when he told us not to compromise in marriage. He specifically said, “There is going to come a time where you cannot agree on what to do. Perhaps it is where to spend Christmas—you both want to spend it with your families, and can’t seem to come to a decision without erupting into argument. You know that if you pick one side over the other, one of you is not going to be happy. Maybe another time you both want to vacation in two

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This Is My Story of Domestic Abuse

By SarahBeth Pappagallo / Relationships

There was a time when I never wanted to talk about it, at least not publicly. I never thought I would. In fact, several years into my journey, the majority of people around me saw nothing but smiles. Truth was, my world was unraveling into devastating chaos. It was never due to shame and not even due to denial. But in today’s world, it seems that everyone is desperate to have a cause. Everyone wants a platform. No matter the scenario, there is always someone looking to somehow identify themselves with the pain of a situation or a cause to gain sympathy. And quite frankly, it cheapens and leaves those that have actually walked the dark paths of pain silent. Women and

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5 Important Things to Discuss as a New Couple

5 Important Topics for New Couples to Discuss

By Darlene Brock / Relationships

Recently, I saw an article on a men’s website that shared what males thought they should talk about when they wanted to make a good impression on a date. There were four topics of conversation that these “Einsteins” believed worked best with women: pets, travel, movies, and food. Seriously, is that all some men think women are capable of discussing? Granted, they are trying to make a good impression, theoretically wanting a second date. But ladies, aren’t we a bit more interesting than that? Don’t we want more out of a relationship? Yes, most females have pets, enjoy travel, watch movies, and like to eat. But I think we need to come up with our own list. If it’s the first date,

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two middle aged women wearing sunglasses taking a selfie in the backseat of a vintage car

Is Your Relationship Healthy or Toxic? Use This 2-Acronym Guide

By Brianna Barrett / Relationships

In my three-plus decades of existence, I have had friendships and love interests, and have stepped into many different roles: mother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, and in-law. Some of the relationships in my life have been positive ones that have infused my life with encouragement, while others have been draining and detrimental to my health and wellbeing. Sometimes those same relationships that once brought life no longer do and they peter out, while others try to drag you down. Is Your Relationship Healthy or Toxic? God calls us to fellowship with others, but sometimes we have to love people from afar because we have to create healthy boundaries. We have to protect ourselves from toxic people. Here are five red flags to watch

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This Is What I Learned About Love From 2 Great Men

By Ashley Johnson / Relationships, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) “Did you throw the dinosaur in the trash?” I sent the text as a question, but I knew the answer. My husband, God bless him, was cleaning out our car yesterday. He just felt like it; he had time off. He’s one of those productive personality types. What was my response to his unprompted help? I sent him an accusatory text about throwing away a green dinosaur costume for our toddler that had been sitting in the car for who knows how long. Don’t worry. I dug it out of the trash along with a children’s book “that I love” (even though I had completely forgotten about it). I also let my husband know that

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As My Friend List Shrinks, I Love How It Deepens

By Michelle Hurst / Relationships

I’ve reached the age where my ideal Friday night involves pajamas, a couch, a book and being asleep by 10 o’clock. (ok, 9:30). The 20- to 30-year-old version of me had a very different idea of an ideal Friday night. At twenty, I’d hope for a date, a bar or a large group of friends. At thirty, I still hoped for an invite of some kind. A dinner party or excuse to wear anything besides yoga pants or school clothes. I wanted to be included and invited and to laugh the loudest. Don’t get me wrong; I still want to be invited, but I don’t always want to go. Be Choosey When it Comes to Your Friend List My life seemed to

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If You Wait for Marriage, Will Your Sex Life Be Boring?

By Dr. Zoe / Relationships

So, a client got me thinking. He was discussing waiting until marriage to have sex. He expressed his respect for that choice, but also his concern as a dating, single male. He said, “What if I marry her and then find out that we are not sexually compatible?” I can certainly understand his concern. Some people would say if you have never had sex before, you won’t know any difference, and it won’t matter. But the majority of people who are abstinent are re-committing to abstinence (some coming out of marriages). They’ve had prior sexual experiences and are worried about sexual compatibility because, well, they actually will know the difference. Should You Wait for Marriage to Have Sex? So, I decided to do some research into this issue, realizing it

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It’s a Wonderful Thing to Fall in Love Later in Life

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / HerStory, Relationships

Our children and grandchildren met each other for the first time over pizza on a Friday evening. A bonfire was built later that night. Marshmallows were toasted and paired with graham crackers and chocolate, and grandkids were sent back to their cabins sugared up (because this is what grandparents get to do). Dan and I planned an outdoor wedding weekend, having fallen in love later in life. We were surrounded by our adult children, children-in-law, and the grands. Each family occupied their own tiny cabin near a wild and clear river. Grandpa Dan flipped pancakes on Saturday morning at a cook station set up on the deck of a woodsy house. Here is where the bride and her junior bridesmaids, pre-teen granddaughters

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This Is Why You Can’t Rely on Looks in a Relationship

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships

It took three years after my husband died to consider dating again. “Father,” I prayed, “if marriage is in your plan, then please lead him to me.” And then—out of curiosity—I listened to a couple of podcasts about dating and tucked away this interesting nugget: “If there are twenty eligible singles in a room, we automatically rule out seventeen of them based on outward appearance and/or body type.” Too short, too thin, too tall, too thick, apparently we rely on looks. In the course of time, I dated a couple of different men. And then, I met Dan while interviewing him for an article about a shower truck ministry for the homeless. Dan might have fallen into the category of the seventeen

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5 Ways Blended Families Can Be Happy and Healthy

By Cherie Shaw / Relationships

I didn’t set out to be a “stepmother;” I never thought I would have a “second” husband. The words, “divorce,” “single mom,” “stepparent,” and “blended family” were used to describe others’ lives, but not my own. But when a husband decides he would rather be with another, I sign papers. I clean out his closet, place boxes on the porch, and figure out how I will do it on my own, how I will survive this ending, this sadness. And with his leaving, the labels rush in. I’m single, alone. I’m divorced, and it feels like a scarlet letter, and everyone knows my shame. My wounded heart bleeds, and I wonder if it will ever recover. Hearts do heal, and soon mine

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He Cheated—Now What?

By Amanda-Lee Pitzer / Relationships

My best friend finally got confirmation of what she had feared for years: Her husband had been cheating. While she suspected it, she never had concrete proof until now. Instead, what she had was a withdrawn husband unless sex was involved. She was always in the wrong whenever there was a disagreement. Whenever she would question something, the gas-lighting began. Verbal and emotional abuse had taken its toll, but when this realization finally came to light, she was at a loss of what to do. While she knew she deserved better, she felt stuck. Stuck in fear of what leaving would look like. Fear of what it would look like to be divorced—again. Fear of what the future may or may not

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How to Talk to Children About Death

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships

For some unexplained reason, my husband called all our grandchildren ‘George’ even though they reminded him repeatedly what their names were. These three kiddos loved their grandpa despite the teasing. Or maybe because of it. Grandpa was the one who let them dump out all the Legos and then he’d sit with them on the living room floor building extravagant structures. He was the one who gave wheelbarrow rides when they helped him rake leaves (I’m not sure how much help toddlers are, but still… there were the wheelbarrow rides). And then one day, their beloved grandpa was diagnosed with late-stage disease, and although he lived much longer than expected, he was gone from his grandkids’ lives much sooner than they wanted.

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how i'm making my later in life love story one worth telling

My Later-in-Life Love Story Is One Worth Telling

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) The bunny that lives under our deck is mowing our lawn, one blade of grass at a time. A misshaped “V” of geese just flew overhead, so close I could hear the whir of their wings. A cool breeze is playing with the wind chimes, and I’m wrapped in a fuzzy, hand-knitted shawl. We live in a mountainous region. Even though there’s a feeling of autumn in the air, I am not fooled. It will be summer again and then fall, and summer again before it officially settles into fall, after which the next day will be winter. One Year Into Our Remarriage I love the change of seasons. My husband, Dan, and

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5 Ways to Stay Connected When a Family Member Is Traveling

By Brianna Barrett / Relationships

My husband has traveled the entire time we have been married. It was really hard when our son was little, trying to explain when Daddy would be home and trying to keep them connected over the phone was a major struggle. We have learned some helpful tips on how to stay connected when a family member is traveling and how to help little ones better understand when they will be back from their travels. 5 Ways to Stay Connected When a Family Member Is Traveling 1. Defining time with sleeps When our son was young, I defined the days Daddy would be away with sleeps. Daddy will be home in three sleeps. Since telling him Daddy would be home in four days

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one woman who is feeling the loneliness epidemic gazes out a window looking sad

Are You Part of the Loneliness Epidemic? You Don’t Have to Be

By Susan Mettes / Relationships

Loneliness seems to be an increasingly real problem for people all over the world. Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, 61% of American adults reported feeling lonely. Add to that several months of social distancing and remote work, along with the usual sense of isolation caused by social media, and it’s clear that we are facing none other than what behavioral scientist and researcher Susan Mettes is calling the loneliness epidemic. Grit and Grace Life interviewed Susan about this particular slice of her research and her new book, The Loneliness Epidemic. Originally intended to become a podcast episode, the recorded audio quality wasn’t quite suited for headphones and speakers, but the content is nevertheless just as vital. We’ve adapted Susan’s responses into a

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