Create Healthy Relationships in Your Grit and Grace Life

one woman who is feeling the loneliness epidemic gazes out a window looking sad

Are You Part of the Loneliness Epidemic? You Don’t Have to Be

Loneliness seems to be an increasingly real problem for people all over the world. Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, 61% of American adults reported feeling lonely. Add to that several months of social distancing and remote work, along with the usual sense of isolation caused by social media, and it’s clear that we are facing none other than what behavioral scientist and researcher Susan Mettes is calling the loneliness epidemic. Grit and Grace Life interviewed Susan about this particular slice of her research and her new book, The Loneliness Epidemic. Originally intended to become a podcast episode, the recorded audio quality wasn’t quite suited for headphones and speakers, but the content is nevertheless just as vital. We’ve adapted Susan’s responses into a […]

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5 Must Ask Questions For a New Roommate

By Lynn Fleshman / Relationships

Maybe you’re about to get your dream apartment with your college besties or maybe you’re crossing your fingers and setting up house with people you’ve just met. Either way, new living situations call for some late-night Target runs (yay!) with your new roommate and a few uncomfortable, but necessary, conversations (boo). I’ve lived in multiple dorms, apartments, houses, and one trailer park, and over the years, I’ve learned a few things about how to start off on the right foot with new roommates. There are some pitfalls you’ll want to avoid and a few things you can do proactively to make home a happy and peaceful space for all of you. So text your future roommates, schedule a time to meet at

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Here Are the 10 Commandments to Be a Great Stepmom

By Sharita Hanley / Motherhood, Relationships

If someone had told me that I was going to be a stepmom at 21 years old, aka a bonus mom, I would have laughed in their face. Not because I hated kids or because I was rude, but simply because working to become a great stepmom wasn’t a part of my plan. Funny how life works like that, isn’t it? You see, when I was younger, I was convinced—without a doubt—that I was going to be a traveling nomad. Laugh all you want, but it’s true. I’d always loved traveling, exploring new places, immersing myself in a different culture, and writing about it. But six years after graduating, I married a divorced man with two precious kiddos and my role as

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How to Become Friends with Your Neighbors

By Twyla Franz / Relationships

It’s one thing to dream of neighbors gathering around your table when you have ample, decorated space, freshly cleaned bathrooms, and kids who keep their toys in their rooms and their crumbs on their plates. It’s a different kind of story when you’re renting a humble home with upside-down outlets. Unforgiving, flat-painted walls. Nicked linoleum. Then the dream gets turned round and round in your heart as you ask, “Why?” and “When?” and “How?” But the best dreams don’t wait for us to be ready. They meet us in boring, over-tired, spilled cheerios, right-now moments. When we feel most inadequate. When we most need hope. That’s where our family’s dream started. It’s also where it began to collect dust. If I could

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Differing Sex Drives in Marriage: When He Wants More and You Don’t

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Relationships

Remember when you and your husband were in pre-marital counseling, starry-eyed and excited to begin your life together, and the counselor warned you that over time, you might have differing libidos and that it could present a problem in your marriage? Oh wait—that didn’t happen, did it? No one warns us about that. Libido: Desire For Sex Libido is defined as the desire for sex. This is influenced by a myriad of things over the course of a marriage: stress, pregnancy, differing schedules, hormones, and psychological and social factors. Some women think: This is just the way I am. I don’t have a high sex drive. And they stop there in frustration. But it’s not that simple. All behavior makes sense in

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If You Have Cracks in Your Foundation, It’s Time to Avoid Avoidance

By Michelle Hurst / Relationships

My husband has been sighing and pointing out these small cracks down the plaster of our living room for months. I know what they mean but I haven’t been too worried. Until the tiles on our kitchen floor started cracking audibly. Then a few weeks ago, a friend pointed out a crack down the front side of our house. Not the inside, but through the actual brick, and this one was not little but a huge gaping ridge. We called out a foundation company and got an estimate. Then, of course, we had to get a loan. A really big loan. Cracks in the foundation have also meant we had to call a plumber. We need to have some trees removed and

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The 3-Day Rule: My Mother-in-Law’s Secret to a Happy Marriage

By Kim Breuninger / Relationships

After a quick check over her shoulder, my mother-in-law lowered her voice to a whisper and leaned in to share her secret to a happy marriage. Her playful grin told me this was something I would want to hear, so, with a swirl of my iced tea, I turned my attention from my sons and their grandfather as they played on the rope swing under the shade of their giant oak tree. Her eyes sparkled as she said, “I call it, The 3-Day Rule.” Her top-secret rule came up as we discussed a home improvement project my husband and I were at odds over, and I was thankful for the treasure of an experienced woman’s wisdom. My marriage dilemma was that I

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How Breaking Up Made Me a Strong Woman

By Ashley Johnson / Relationships

Once upon a time, I was in a five-year relationship. There were good times and bad times, but overall—it was just a lot of time. A lot of shared experiences. A lot of shared life. It was a devastating loss at the time, but, now, I’m so grateful for the experience because breaking up made me a strong woman. Yes, I was sad when we went our separate ways. But more than anything, I was so incredibly lost. I didn’t know what to do with my time. I didn’t even know what I liked to do. I had no idea who I was by myself. I wasn’t exactly a fan of feeling my emotional pain; what I really wanted to do was fast-forward

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5 Ways to Work on Your Marriage (when he is not)

5 Fresh Ways to Work on Your Marriage (When He Isn’t)

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Relationships

When your marriage is in a free fall of disconnectedness, anger, or resentment, it can feel like you are standing on the sidelines watching a train wreck, helpless to stop it. It’s terrifying. Even worse, if your spouse has already asked for a divorce, you may feel like the end is inevitable. Let me give you the good news first. Fixing things doesn’t require that you both jump in and dissect your issues. When you change any part of a system (in your case, your relationship), the whole system reacts and thus changes. Every marriage goes through difficult times; sometimes, you may question whether it is even worth sticking it out. But the relationship can stay intact as long as both of

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5 Ways to Love Your Single Life

By Darlene Brock / Relationships

So a large majority of your friends are married and you are not. Do you celebrate because you dodged the bullet or do you pine because you hate being alone? Do you dread the next plus one event or do you land at the door ready to have a good time, with or without that extra human by your side? Being single is neither a malady nor a deficiency; it’s just a place in life. And it can be a really good place. Here are 5 ways to make sure you love your single life: 1. Don’t wait for life; live life. Remove the sentence, “I will (move, travel, buy a house, change careers) when I find that perfect (whatever that may be).”

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Walking Away from Mr. Wrong to Love the One Who Is Right

By Caroline Beidler / Relationships, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) He sat in his black chair with a headset on, and periodically, I’d hear him shout obscenities at the screen. He was playing the latest version of his favorite video game on his PlayStation 3 or 4 (I’d lost count), and it was a Friday night. I was sitting on the sofa in the adjacent room, watching some romantic movie that made me feel lonely and worn out as I ate a pint of chocolate ice cream and wondered why, at 30 years old, I was still dating Mr. Wrong, a version of the same boy since high school. This was a typical date night: together but alone. Or it was going to

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Should I Be Staying for the Kids Even If My Marriage Isn't Working?

Should I Consider Staying for the Kids, Even If My Marriage Isn’t Working?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Relationships

So, you’ve got a husband and you’ve got kids. This marriage isn’t working. You’ve tried and you’ve tried (I hope you’ve tried), and it’s not getting better. You put off thinking about it to get your family through the holidays. Another year has gone by and it’s smack in your face again. You don’t know what’s worse. Staying for the kids or going? It’s a tortuous, painful place to be. There are repercussions on both sides of your decision and they matter. I want to honor how hard this is for you. Should You Stay or Get a Divorce? I’m not a proponent of divorce. In fact, my life’s work is helping couples improve their relationships, but I am also not someone who

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Forgiveness Came the Day I Befriended “The Other Woman”

By Adina Larson / HerStory, Relationships

Few other words strike up as many feelings as the word forgiveness. There are many opinions on what it means to forgive and how much gray area there is in the “forgetting” part that is often associated with forgiveness. This concept is one I have personally wrestled with for a few years now, and this is the story of my journey. My Husband Betrayed Me My ex-husband had an affair. The details of when and for how long are still a little blurry to me; but, nonetheless, it happened. I was able to figure out who “the other woman” was because, well—I knew her. We had only hung out one time with our families, but we were friends on social media after that

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Strength Under Fire: 5 Marriage Lessons from a Firefighter’s Wife

By Kristen Bailey / Relationships

Growing up in a military town, I swore I’d never marry a military guy. I didn’t want anyone owning my husband more than I did. Years later, I found myself falling for another type of man, one who runs into fires when everyone else rushes out. There were lots of things I didn’t know before falling for my firefighter, but thinking about it now, the lessons I’ve acquired as a firefighter’s wife are valuable for any marriage. I learned quick that being a “fire wife” wasn’t for the faint of heart. When my new date was called to work the wildland fire in Paradise, California, he told me he’d text me with updates. Five days ticked by with no messages as I

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Choosing to Be Vulnerable Takes Courage—Especially After a Bad Breakup

By Kristen Bailey / Relationships

The sun set behind the golden California hills out windows of the conversion van as I stared out, stunned. He was breaking up with me. We’d traveled across the country from New York to California together, modern day pioneers as “van lifers” going from national park to national park. We’d talked about getting engaged and moved all my belongings into his family’s place while we apartment hunted. Now, his words were as surreal as the sunset itself. Newly Single and Homeless “I need to just do me for a while. I haven’t been selfish enough.” As the minutes and devastation sunk in, I realized I was in trouble far worse than just my broken heart. I was homeless. “Where am I supposed

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How to Avoid the Wrong Guy: A Checklist for Strong Women

By Ashley Vancil / Relationships, HerStory

Dating isn’t how I remember it before I was married. I don’t have any idea when things changed so drastically, but man have they. Even though I haven’t figured all of that out yet, one thing I do know that stays the same is for some unknown reason girls tend to go for the emotionally unavailable man and we detour from the sweet guy. Every female in the history of forever has done this. Women are always talking about it, so I know we are in the same boat. “Why do I always end up with the wrong guy?” “How do I always end up with the guy with 100 issues?” “What do I do wrong when it comes to men?” I

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I Thought He’d Propose on Valentine’s Day—He Broke Up Instead

By Torrie Sorge / Relationships

It was Valentine’s Day. We sat on my small, tan microfiber loveseat in my sparsely decorated apartment. The night had been perfect. Dinner at our favorite local restaurant. A bouquet of flowers along with gifts of chocolates and a stuffed animal. My heart swelled in anticipation of how I dreamed the night would end. A Change in Relationship Status I knew six months wasn’t very long, but for a girl in her senior year of college in a town where most of my friends had been engaged by now, I felt the clock ticking. At the perfect moment, just when I thought it wouldn’t happen, he would release my hand to retrieve one more gift from his pocket. He would slip from

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