When Dan and I first married—a later-in-life union—I made a rather large mistake. When I moved into Dan’s house as his bride, his clothes filled the master bedroom and guest room closets. Dan’s new bride needed closet space.
And so together, we began sorting through the clothes in the guest room. We came across three bowling shirts from back in the day when Dan bowled in a league with his co-workers. The shirts sported the company logo, and I assumed he’d never wear them again.
“But they’re a good memory,” my husband said as he reluctantly tossed the monogrammed shirts into the give-away pile.
A day or two after we dropped off a few bags of clothing at a local thrift store, I started thinking about what I’d done. We could have kept at least one shirt, framed it in one of those large shadow box display cases, and hung it in his shop, right?
So we headed back to the thrift store. And of course there were no bowling shirts to be found.
That was almost six years ago, and to this day, I still regret my haste, my selfishness. (It doesn’t help that one of Dan’s good friends reminds me of my mistake every few months.)
Want to Spare Your Relationship? Appreciate His Quirks
Since that time, I’ve come to understand my husband better. He’s not a hoarder. And he really does have a reason for hanging onto certain items. He has a brilliant mind that is good at solving maintenance issues, at taking a motorcycle apart and putting it back together, at envisioning how a particular item could be re-purposed someday. And he has the shop space for storage. So what does it hurt to hold onto stuff?
The thing is, Dan is so easy to be married to. He’s thoughtful. He wakes me up every morning with a mug of piping hot cinnamon spice tea. He appreciates my cooking. He spends his days making life easier for other people. He takes me on adventures across town, across the nearby mountains, and across the country.
If Dan were to write a blog about my quirks, it would take him several days. Let’s begin with this one: You know the opening in the lid of a paper coffee cup where you sip your beverage? I’m always compelled to line up that opening with the coffee shop logo (see photo). I’m sure there’s a name for that particular mental health issue.
There is no one alive who doesn’t have quirks and offbeat habits. These peculiarities are simply part of the person we love.
The lesson I learned from three very cool, retro bowling shirts? These days, I show my husband respect by not badgering him into doing something he really doesn’t want to do, which takes grit and grace.
How graced am I to have met this good man, and that he didn’t give me away when I gave away his bowling shirts?
