| The Grit and Grace Project

My Boyfriend Brings Me Flowers, Is That Enough?

Your boyfriend brings you flowers, treats you to dinner, and maybe even buys you a gift. Sweet things that indicate he could be the “rest of my life” partner but is that all you want? Or perhaps that’s what he did when you first started dating, but less so now. And the other things you might be looking for haven’t yet appeared. Maybe you’ve compromised on some things you thought were important. Or accepted some that you didn’t think you would accept. This happens to nearly every woman who is seeking that ever-after relationship. The concessions don’t happen quickly; they occur slowly, often without even realizing you’re giving up what you thought you had found. Settling for the opposite of what you […]

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How and When Do I Tell My Man I Have an STI?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Dreading This Scary Conversation’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, I recently found out that I have an STI, and I am devastated. I made decisions in the past that I am not proud of, but over the past couple of years, I’ve changed my lifestyle dramatically. Unfortunately, there have been some lingering effects from my past, including a sexually transmitted disease. One of my biggest fears about this is that I just got into a relationship with someone I’m really excited about, but we’ve only been dating for a couple of months. Although we are not sexually active and hold similar beliefs on wanting to save that for marriage now, I do think it’s something that I need to share with him, but

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Can I Progress in My Relationship From Girlfriend to Wife?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Nurse Lauren’ Asked: Hello, I found the article you wrote about wanting a proposal and not getting it and how you shouldn’t feel bad about it just because you want to be married was really wonderful. There’s so much out there about oh you can’t make someone do something and you know you should just decide if you want them in your life and accept it and I just don’t think that’s really very fair. My specific question is regarding the four levels I’m just wanting to make sure that I’m not doing wifey things when I’m still in girlfriend status can you help me learn more about that. Dr. Zoe Answered: Women who find themselves stuck in a relationship phase are

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5 Important Things to Discuss as a New Couple

5 Important Topics for New Couples to Discuss

By Darlene Brock / Relationships

Recently, I saw an article on a men’s website that shared what males thought they should talk about when they wanted to make a good impression on a date. There were four topics of conversation that these “Einsteins” believed worked best with women: pets, travel, movies, and food. Seriously, is that all some men think women are capable of discussing? Granted, they are trying to make a good impression, theoretically wanting a second date. But ladies, aren’t we a bit more interesting than that? Don’t we want more out of a relationship? Yes, most females have pets, enjoy travel, watch movies, and like to eat. But I think we need to come up with our own list. If it’s the first date,

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If You Wait for Marriage, Will Your Sex Life Be Boring?

By Dr. Zoe / Relationships

So, a client got me thinking. He was discussing waiting until marriage to have sex. He expressed his respect for that choice, but also his concern as a dating, single male. He said, “What if I marry her and then find out that we are not sexually compatible?” I can certainly understand his concern. Some people would say if you have never had sex before, you won’t know any difference, and it won’t matter. But the majority of people who are abstinent are re-committing to abstinence (some coming out of marriages). They’ve had prior sexual experiences and are worried about sexual compatibility because, well, they actually will know the difference. Should You Wait for Marriage to Have Sex? So, I decided to do some research into this issue, realizing it

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This Is Why You Can’t Rely on Looks in a Relationship

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships

It took three years after my husband died to consider dating again. “Father,” I prayed, “if marriage is in your plan, then please lead him to me.” And then—out of curiosity—I listened to a couple of podcasts about dating and tucked away this interesting nugget: “If there are twenty eligible singles in a room, we automatically rule out seventeen of them based on outward appearance and/or body type.” Too short, too thin, too tall, too thick, apparently we rely on looks. In the course of time, I dated a couple of different men. And then, I met Dan while interviewing him for an article about a shower truck ministry for the homeless. Dan might have fallen into the category of the seventeen

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Walking Away from Mr. Wrong to Love the One Who Is Right

By Caroline Beidler / Relationships, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) He sat in his black chair with a headset on, and periodically, I’d hear him shout obscenities at the screen. He was playing the latest version of his favorite video game on his PlayStation 3 or 4 (I’d lost count), and it was a Friday night. I was sitting on the sofa in the adjacent room, watching some romantic movie that made me feel lonely and worn out as I ate a pint of chocolate ice cream and wondered why, at 30 years old, I was still dating Mr. Wrong, a version of the same boy since high school. This was a typical date night: together but alone. Or it was going to

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The Reality of STDs: Hard Conversations You Need to Have

By Darlene Brock / Health & Beauty, Relationships

There truly are some conversations we would much rather avoid. The ones that create angst in both the discussion starter and the recipient, whose terrified expression is begging you not to continue! An honest talk about STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) has to be in life’s top five! This is definitely not sunny chatter over the dinner table, or light banter with the store clerk like you’re talking about the fair weather. But the reality is that our current societal statistics require us to have these talks. We absolutely must have them with our children. We absolutely must have them with our dating partner. Today’s studies tell us 1 in 4 females between the age of 15 and 24 have an STD*, currently a full

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Ask Dr. Zoe – My Boyfriend Retracted His Proposal—What Do I Do Now?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Audio Articles

‘Debra’ Asked: I am a widow; I’ve been seeing him for nine months. He asked me to marry him a couple of times joking around and I just didn’t respond because I thought it was joking. However, he proposed the last week of February and I just stood there staring with no response. He caught me off guard. They was a lot of commotion going on at the job, so I didn’t answer him right away. Later I said I loved him and I would marry him but he said I didn’t answer him when he asked so he got his answer then. I told him I loved him and wanted to marry him and he said it didn’t work that way

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A Letter to All the Single Ladies: the Good, the Bad and How to Own It

By Caroline Beidler / Life & Culture, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) I’d like to tell you about my ex. I mean exes. I’d like to share a poignant account of my time being single, and how I survived a string of unhealthy relationships before resting firmly (and a bit unassured) in the coveted marriage and motherhood status. I’d like to paint an atrocious picture of love gone wrong, of an incredibly insecure and trauma-ridden little girl who grew up to jump in bed with any old crack pot who wanted to be with her (and there were more than a few—God, I hope my kids never read this). Maybe I’d weave in some funny stories here and there—like the time I woke up on

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Should I Keep Waiting For The Right Man? Rebecca St. James Shares Her Story – 179

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast, Relationships

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreEvery woman wants to find the right man, but finding your forever-after prince isn’t always so clear cut. We wonder whether he’s out there, how long it’ll take to find him, and if we’ll even recognize him when the moment arrives. We can even get so frustrated with the wait that we might be tempted to settle for a good man, but not the right man. But is it worth waiting for the right one? According to Christian singer and songwriter Rebecca St. James, it definitely is. She joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender on This Grit and Grace Life podcast to chat about her own dating

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Do I Stay With My Man When I’m Pregnant and Still Waiting for a Proposal?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Pregnant in Purgatory’ Asked: My boyfriend had been subtly talking about proposing for several weeks, he hinted that he had a ring and would talk about when he felt it was the “right” time, which seemed to align with our anniversary. But you can guess what happened…anniversary, Valentine’s Day, and a trip to the coast all came and went and no proposal. Then something unexpected happened, I got pregnant. So while I thought we were onto something good, now I am pregnant, living together and there’s no ring. I feel so foolish and sad. I’ve become deeply depressed, and we have argued about it several times when I have tried to share with him how hurtful this has been. Now he says

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Start Dating After Divorce?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Ready to Date Again’ Asked: After a 20 year marriage failed, almost 10 years of counseling and working on myself, I’m ready to date again. But how do I trust again? How do I get out there to find the “right” guy? I thought it would happen naturally, but it hasn’t. Dr. Zoe Answered: Congratulations!! You have done the hard work, and now comes the fun (and a little more work). “Meeting naturally” is an interesting idea. Plenty of people assume that if they meet purposefully then somehow there is something less natural about their beginning. I call that hogwash. You can naturally meet plenty of people who are not relationship material. And you can purposefully meet your soulmate if you are

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Don’t Let Rejection Dictate Your Worth

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships

Unbidden tears trickled down my face. I was writing in a coffee shop, and a man said he would meet me as soon as he finished his business. Hours went by without hearing from him. And so I packed up my laptop and gave myself permission to sob all the way home. After three years of widowhood, I thought I was ready to date and maybe even consider getting married again. A roller coaster came to a stop, and I boarded one of the cars. Over the next year or two, that carnival ride took me up and down and all around in loop-de-loops of rejection and indecision. “I think I can do this.” And then, “Um, no. This feels like I’m

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Choose the Right Man in My Love Triangle?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Texas Tangled’ Asked: This might end up sounding like a terrible romance movie…I am a 30 year old divorcee (I was married young in a military marriage that ended when I was 24). I was in a long-term relationship with *Travis for two years, in which we had great chemistry, lots of fun, good teamwork, and just solid, simple country life. But as our relationship progressed, he had issues with commitment and couldn’t get to the next step or even talk about it. We would go through these cycles of everything being fine, then a build to a huge fight and then fine again. Finally, it began to really wear the closer to 2 years we got, and he broke up with

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Ask Dr. Zoe – When Do I Introduce My New Man to My Kids?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Dating Diva’ Asked: I’m a single mom with a young son. What’s the best way to introduce my child to someone I’m dating? When do I do it? And how? What are some things to avoid him getting hurt? Dating Diva Dr. Zoe Answered: With so much conflicting information out there, it’s easy to feel confused, fearful and guilty when it comes to dating life and your kids. So here’s what I know. You’re probably taking this introduction part way too seriously. Yes, I know this is serious stuff—relationships, parenting—all wrapped in one. But this is a long haul type of thing. The introduction part is just the tip of the iceberg. So take a deep breath. There are certainly ways to

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Are You Stuck In a Relationship Phase? (video)

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

A relationship can get frustrating when you’re expecting a proposal or deciding on a wedding date, but your man doesn’t appear to be in any hurry to move to the next step. Although this often exposes the man’s fear of commitment, you may have also played a role by prematurely giving him the benefits of a fiance or wife. Dr. Zoe outlines each phase of a relationship so you can know what to expect—and how much you’re supposed to give—at every level.

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