| The Grit and Grace Project

This Is What a Well-Loved Woman Feels

By Carolyn Gordon / Best Of, Relationships

My 18-year-old self perked up when the college tour guide dropped the statistic, “We are ranked number four in Most Likely To Find Your Future Spouse Here.” Say no more, sign me up! Soon, visions of walking around the ivy and brick walkways in that North Carolina college, arm in arm with my Southern gentleman quickly filled my mind. I was done with the “frogs“… the cool guy in high school who prided himself on kissing a girl from every page in the high school yearbook, the guy with the cool car and cheesy pick-up lines. I didn’t want to date for the sake of dating. I wanted to be wooed. Then it happened, I laid eyes on a Southern boy, was […]

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5 Tips for When You Want to Re-Enter the Dating World

By Shannon Degarmo / Relationships

Dating can be hard for anyone—the thought of doing it again after having a rough go of it might seem daunting. However, you have the chance to make it into a positive experience this time around. After all, we’ve become wiser with age and have certainly learned a few lessons, right? Here are a few tips that I focused on when I was ready to date again after my divorce: 1. Make sure you are healed from past broken relationships. It takes time to overcome the effects of a painful divorce. And, the best part is, you’ve got a lot of time. You can’t really give yourself fully to another person if you are a splintered spirit. Allow yourself the time it takes to walk

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Want to Be a Strong Woman? Set Healthy Boundaries – 103

By This Grit & Grace Life Podcast / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Healthy relationships require healthy boundaries. But do you struggle to know what they are? Whether we’re talking with a friend, significant other, family member, or stranger, boundaries matter! And sadly, healthy ones are not taught; most often, we learn that we need them when the relationships we find ourselves in begin to hurt us. Having pondered this, co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Graham discuss why boundaries are important. They focus on four types you need and how to begin implementing them in your life. Setting these boundaries will require grit and grace, but take heart; you can do it! This episode will serve you well

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Move on From a Broken Relationship?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Rudderless After A Relationship’ Asked: I have been in a long term relationship with my fiance’. He proved himself unable to commit and now I am trying to move on. I want him to realize how he much he hurt me and cost me but he refuses to. He thinks saying I’m sorry is enough but doesn’t want to change anything. I have physically moved on but need to find a way to emotionally move forward without him even though the hurt remains. Dr. Zoe Answered: I am very sorry that you are going through a tough break up. I’m also sorry that you haven’t really broken up yet. Let me explain: you say you are moving on, but you are clearly

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Great Sex—What Is It?

By Darlene Brock / Relationships, Best Of

There seems to be an unending list of articles on the subject of sex, from espousing general attitudes to detailing specific acts. Interesting though many of them are, I believe there is often one missing detail. The basis of great sex is not physical; it is relational. A satisfying sex life is based upon sharing your life and your heart, not just your bed. We have within us a quiet barometer, which, if listened to, will help us sort out truth from theory. There is an inner voice in all of us that speaks sometimes faintly, other times with urgency. It’s a voice we should listen to. When having sex for the first time, that voice will often speak to our fear,

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You, Your Man, and His Baby Mama All Need Grit and Grace

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Relationships

So your man is a pretty wonderful guy. Things are going so well. You might have even married him. What in the world could mess this up? Oh, the mother of his kids! Baby mama drama began with the start of civilization—think Abraham from the Bible. Sparks were going off between Sarah (his wife) and Hagar (baby mama). Abraham couldn’t deal with the drama and finally shipped Hagar off with their child—never to be seen again. Even if that is your fantasy, it isn’t going to happen—nor should it. The modern reality is that almost half (46%) of marriages involve a step-parent situation.1 When your relationship first started, dreams of the Brady Bunch may have been circling in your head. But reality

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what to do when you've been ghosted in dating

5 Ways to Handle Being Ghosted With Grit and Grace

By Jamie Hill / Faith

If you grew up in a household like mine, anything that had to do with ghost, ghouls, or goblins were immediately rebuked. My mom didn’t believe in ghosts per se, but she did believe in bad spirits and protecting her children from them. I only wish that my mom knew then that when I got older, I would face a different type of “ghosting” so she could have helped prepare me. To give you a greater perspective, think of the longest crush you’ve ever had; no, longer than that. Mine was exactly seven years long. I can remember logging into my Facebook account on Mother’s Day weekend 2018, and there it was, the long-awaited direct message one could only hope for. The guy

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Ask Dr. Zoe – He Asked Me to Marry Him Now He Won’t Set a Date

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Dawn’ Asked: After my boyfriend and I had been together a year, one night while we were spending alone time together he looked at me and asked: “Will you marry me”? There was no ring, just the question. I asked “Are you really proposing?” and he said “Just answer the question…”, but I said, “I’m not answering it unless this is a real proposal”. He continued to ask and insisted that this is a real proposal. I ended up saying yes. I was elated and wanted to tell my best friend but he asked me not to say anything until he could afford a ring. I was a little crushed. So, the next day I asked since you don’t want me saying

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What Today’s Dating Scene is Really Like – 094

By This Grit & Grace Life Podcast / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreAre you dating or do you have a friend who is? If you haven’t been in the dating world for the last decade, the cultural shift that has hit will leave your head spinning. For those who are currently single, we realize you’re going to face challenges your married friends may not understand. In this episode, co-hosts Darlene Brock (happily married for several decades) and Julie Graham (widowed after 11 years of marriage to her college sweetheart….and currently dating) talk through some of the stereotypes in the dating scene. First, they discuss how to know if you’re ready to date. Then, Darlene gets Julie’s inside

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3 Things That the Movies Got Wrong About Love

By Joyell Nevins / Life & Culture, Relationships

Ice cream, popcorn, wine or tea (depending on your preference), and your favorite romantic lead: the perfect recipe for entertainment. I personally was a sucker for Leo and still am for Hugh Grant and Jude Law—that British accent gets me every time. Whether you’re with your best girlfriend or it’s just you and the boob tube, a chick flick night is a favorite event of the feminine side of our culture (it permeates the male side too; they’re just less quick to admit it). But what I have discovered it is not, is a recipe for real life. Some of our favorite scenes and classic lines are actually the opposite of the truth. When we search for love or model our relationships after what

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This Is How to Know How Many Dates to Give Him

Here’s a Quick Way to Know If You Should Keep Dating Him

By Joycelyn Harrington / Relationships

“All the single ladies. All the single ladies. All the single ladies, now put your hands up!” Most of us have heard this now infamous song whether playing it on our iPod after a breakup or at a wedding when it’s time for the bouquet toss. This single ladies anthem by Beyonce is a catchy and empowering song that makes you want to dance and fully embrace the freedom of being single. The freedom of being able to choose who we want to date, when we want to date, and what criteria qualifies or disqualifies a date that progresses into a relationship and eventually marriage. Did you notice the keywords in the paragraph above? Freedom and choice. Yes, girl, we have the

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4 Things You Need to Know About Pre-Wedding Jitters

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Relationships

Getting married is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make because it really is life-changing. As well as you might know the person to whom you’re pledging your love and loyalty—for better or worse—you simply cannot know what your future will hold (try as you might). Of course, you have hopes and dreams and can imagine what your life together might be like… But you cannot be certain. And uncertainty can make the best of us a bit jittery, especially as the big day draws closer and everything becomes more real. Many women wonder if these feelings during their engagement are red flags. Is it normal to feel this way or is there something wrong in the relationship? Should you be

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Ask Dr. Zoe – I Take the Blame in My Relationship

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Confused’ Asked: I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a long time now, and every time we fight I never get angry with him. I only blame myself and put all of our issues on me. I never get angry or upset with him, just with myself. I just want some help and insight into these kinds of insecurities. Dr. Zoe Answered: I’m so glad you recognize that you have some insecurity issues. Although this may be the first time you are noticing, I am positive it’s not a new issue in your life. Even if he is unfairly blaming you, there is a reason why you are collaborating in this with him. Where did you develop this pattern of

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Should You Ask Him Out?

By Phylicia Fraser / Relationships

Alright, ladies, let’s tackle one of the biggest questions in our minds when we’re interested in a guy: Should we ask him out? He’s really handsome, funny, you enjoy hanging out with him, and you want to take it to the next level. But what do we always do? We constantly question if we should ask him out! Is that acceptable? I’m here to tell you, of course! Ask him out! It’s 2019; It’s your year! Ask the guy out for goodness sake. I’m sure you’ve probably done some googling for tips and tricks on how to ask a guy out. (Don’t worry, we’ve all done it!) After my own research on this topic, I stumbled across a little video put together

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I Said I Would Never Date Again, but Then…

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Faith

My children have given their blessing for me to date and remarry, but my son had one stipulation: “As long as he has a yacht.” Although I’ve been deeply content as a widow and there are no boyfriend possibilities, I drafted an inventory of the basic requirements. Owning a yacht is not on my list. “You shouldn’t limit yourself to a list,” a friend cautioned. “You might miss some really great opportunities.” But, if we’re setting out to make a major decision—say, purchasing a house—then don’t most home buyers have a price point, general location, and square footage in mind? And if a great house in the right school district (with a short commute to work) presents itself, but we wanted wood

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Keep Your Love Alive: Avoid These Relationship Mistakes – 084

By This Grit & Grace Life Podcast / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreMost women are looking for a healthy, secure, and romantic relationship with the man in their life. Sometimes we do things that, instead of making it better, are killing it. Now, we know that men can be relationship killers too, but we will leave that for another discussion. So, we’re asking you, are you making these common mistakes that undermine the foundation of the relationship you hold so dear? We all do them, but if we don’t have a bestie who tells it to us straight, sometimes we don’t even know that we’re doing anything wrong. In this episode, Darlene Brock (happily married for an

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Ask Dr. Zoe – My Boyfriend Has Hurt Me, Should I Forgive Him?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Meg’ Asked: There has been a mixture of all kinds of hurt in a long term dating relationship and trying to extend grace and to have true forgiveness after the hurt. What are some good ways to do that in a healthy way without being walked all over? Dr. Zoe Answered: You may not like this answer, and some may not agree, but dating shouldn’t be this hard. You are in a long-term relationship, which I assume is at least a couple of years. He has hurt you many times. You indicate that you feel that he may take advantage of your extension of grace and forgiveness towards him. What I’m wondering is why you haven’t ended it? It sounds to me

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