| The Grit and Grace Project

You, Your Man, and His Baby Mama All Need Grit and Grace

So your man is a pretty wonderful guy. Things are going so well. You might have even married him. What in the world could mess this up? Oh, the mother of his kids! Baby mama drama began with the start of civilization—think Abraham from the Bible. Sparks were going off between Sarah (his wife) and Hagar (baby mama). Abraham couldn’t deal with the drama and finally shipped Hagar off with their child—never to be seen again. Even if that is your fantasy, it isn’t going to happen—nor should it. The modern reality is that almost half (46%) of marriages involve a step-parent situation.1 When your relationship first started, dreams of the Brady Bunch may have been circling in your head. But reality […]

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Grieving Divorce

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Running Turtle’ Asked: My marriage broke up about 7 months ago. In the last few days, we’ve been seriously discussing divorce. I’ve been grieving the last 7 months, but these conversations have brought on new, almost overwhelming waves of grief, how do I cope? Dr. Zoe Answered: Dear Running Turtle, I’m glad you used the word grief because that’s exactly what you are doing—grieving. Grief sucks always, but it is a necessary and healthy process when dealing with your loss. This is your season for grief. Feel it, eat some ice cream, wallow in it for a minute, scream, cry—get it out! Stop telling yourself it is overwhelming. It just is. Saying your grief is overwhelming is like saying water is too

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This Is How to Overcome Toxic Emotions After Divorce

By Joycelyn Harrington / Relationships

There are few things in life that can vigorously shake a person’s whole world, leaving them flailing about like a fish out of water. Can you picture what that looks like? It’s sad to witness: this once flourishing animal dancing in the water, confident in who it is and what it’s made for, until the atmosphere that gave it this confidence is taken away. Experiencing divorce leaves us feeling like that fish. Flailing about as the anguish of knowing familial death is certain and you have no idea if or when someone will put you back in the water. Picking and choosing which emotion you allow to be present and which emotion to suppress with each physical, verbal, and child-related transaction. Divorce

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Starting Over After a Failed Relationship

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Starting Over’ Asked: After several years I realized I had surrendered myself to a man who was not committed to me. We never married, we have a child together whom I love dearly, but I finally came to understand that I was carrying the entire weight of keeping the family together. I have been the consistent income earner, paid the bills at the home he owned, and created a family atmosphere. I have finally expressed my disappointment only to be dismissed. I started separating myself and our child from him physically and financially. But it is so hard to separate emotionally. I have given so much for so long that I feel shortchanged, especially since I am the one that has to

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This Is How I’m Growing Through Divorce

By Ashley Vancil / Relationships

Let me be frank here, I never expected to join the “Divorced Women Club” but it’s a thing, and here I am. (Logo designs coming soon…kidding.) Learning how to be a single mom, not a crazy ex-wife, and a decent human being is trying. I feel like I should be getting a part-time paycheck for the work my mind is putting into this. If you haven’t been here, it is hard. The crappy thing is that there is no right way to do it because everyone’s situation is so different. I will not lie and say I am holding it all together and doing it all right. However, I am gracefully learning from my mistakes, apologizing even when I don’t feel like

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Can I Move On If I Still Love My Ex?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Turmoil in Texas’ Asked: My husband and I were married for 12 years. He cheated and we have been separated for the last four years and are now getting a divorce. I was very angry at him the first two years after we separated. Then, when my anger subsided and I forgave him I wasn’t sure where to go from there. Our lives are intertwined raising our kids and his family is my family. The last two years I have gone back and forth emotionally. I have finally accepted I still love him. I don’t think spending our lives together will work out but I can’t get completely over him. How can I move forward? Dr. Zoe Answered: Turmoil in Texas, Divorce

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If You Can’t Avoid Divorce, Can You Do It Honorably? With Attorney Leesha Newkirk Crouch – 059

By This Grit & Grace Life Podcast / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreWe believe marriage is a vow made with honor—cherished, worthy of fighting to keep, and should not be easily or quickly broken. As much as we wish it weren’t true, we realize that sometimes marriages fail. So, if you find yourself facing divorce or know someone who is, we believe it is vital, even in this difficult season, to walk through the next steps with knowledge, honor, and integrity. With that in mind, we invited our friend, attorney Leesha Newkirk Crouch, back to the show. You will learn that there is a path to amicable divorce where you, your ex, and your children can create

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Ask Dr. Zoe – In Love with a Narcissist

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘In Love With a Narcissist’ Asked: How long do I stay in a marriage with a narcissist who continually emotionally and verbally abuses me? Can he be treated/healed through counseling? I love this man with all my heart and have since middle school. (I’m in my mid-forties.) I left and divorced him once and then after 18 months apart, we reconnected and went to counseling weekly for 8 months. We remarried and it hasn’t even been a year since our wedding and I’ve moved out again. I do not want another divorce but can he be healed from narcissistic traits? I cannot stay in an abusive marriage, no matter how much I love him. In Love With a Narcissist Dr. Zoe Answered:

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Setting Boundaries When In-Laws Divorce

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Stuck in the Middle’ Asked: How do my husband and I practically set boundaries with our parents who are each going through a separation/divorce? Both sets of parents are going through a break in their marriage and all four of them come to us to talk. It’s affecting our mood, emotional eating, fitness level, family life with our kids, and work. It’s constant. Holidays have been the absolute worst. How do we love them even when we’re angry with their decisions? How do we protect our family unit from the effects of the drama? I’ve resorted to literally miming the action of putting on sunglasses to block the drama when I feel overwhelmed! Stuck in the Middle Dr. Zoe Answered: Dear ‘Stuck

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What This Strong Woman Did When Her Husband Left

By Ashley Vancil / Relationships

“I don’t love you, and I haven’t for a long time. I don’t think we should be together.” Words I never imagined hearing from my husband, much less a little over a month before our third son was due. We had a plan. I knew we were both stressed; that we were fighting more than normal, but I never thought things were that bad. I was a good mom, I kept up with everything at the house, and I always made sure dinner was prepared when he got home. We weren’t great, but we were okay. I spent the next few weeks begging for forgiveness. “Don’t do this! Don’t separate our family! We love each other; we can get through this!” After a

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A Therapist’s Practical Advice for Blended Families with Dr. Zoe Shaw – 050

By This Grit & Grace Life Podcast / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreSince nearly 50% of new marriages are remarriages, it should come as no surprise that many women are blending families. It doesn’t take long after making those marriage vows to discover combining families can be complicated. It can also be beautiful. How? We brought in our most reliable expert, psychotherapist, and relationship counselor, Dr. Zoe, to share a balanced and a realistic view of how to blend these separate families into one unit with equal parts grit and grace. Darlene (married mom of two adult daughters) and Julie (widowed single mom) ask the often searched for questions that are frequently found at The Grit and

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What This Lawyer Thinks Every Woman Should Know

By Katie Sue Cosgrove / Work & Money

Court cases are all around us. Literally millions upon millions are filed each year in the United States.1 They can be anything from a traffic citation to a divorce to personal injury to domestic violence and everything in between. Before I attended law school, I couldn’t comprehend the vast reaches the law has on each and every one of our lives. Honestly, I am still surprised when issues come up that require research into something you never thought you’d need to know; I’ll never forget when a male colleague of mine had to research the fair market value of hair weaves to assist a victim of theft. And, perhaps, unfortunately, many of us will find ourselves party to a case in one

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When to Leave an Unhealthy Relationship with Your Man with Dr. Zoe Shaw – 024

By This Grit & Grace Life Podcast / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreSo, men can be pretty great, until they are not. Has the man in your life crossed a line that you just cannot live with? Are you dating and seeing signs that he’s not the guy you thought he was? Or are you married, and at an impasse, disagreeing at every turn? When you find yourself compromising your principals, your morals, your self-esteem perhaps it’s time to tell him “enough is enough?” To discuss this difficult situation, we brought in trusted friend and Licensed Psychotherapist and Relationship Expert, Dr. Zoe Shaw to help you determine when and how it’s time to step away from an

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An Attorney Helps You Prepare for an Unexpected Loss – 012

By This Grit & Grace Life Podcast / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More There are some subjects we just want to avoid, especially the ones we sincerely hope to never face. Yet if that day comes, we may find we weren’t prepared. Since one of our own, Julie Graham, just found herself in this position of having lost her husband of 11 years and steps away this week, we thought it would be a good time to look at how to prepare for an unexpected loss. Darlene is joined by attorney, Leesha Crouch, to discuss in simple, relatable terms the things that every woman should do legally to safeguard her family if heartbreak should hit. Viewing in an app?

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How to Make a Happy Marriage, From a Divorced Single Mom

By Christi Anderson / Relationships

I was laying on the massage table chuckling instead of relaxing. I was chuckling at the fact that I had to pay someone to touch me. I mean, I sometimes pay my kids five bucks for a back massage, but that’s different. They don’t really want to do it and they don’t really care. They’ve never walked around looking and feeling as stiff as a 4×4, so how could they understand the necessity of a little back massage? As I got over my giggles and finally succumed to the relaxation, I had all these ideas running through my head about advice I needed to share ASAP. My first order of business is to share my thoughts on marriage (I’ll share my thoughts

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My Story, Daring to Date After Divorce

By Shannon Degarmo / Relationships

I was talking with one of my besties from high school while the kiddos played with their toys on the floor. We were just about to hang up the phone when she quickly interjected that she thinks that she found a guy that she wants me to meet. Ummmm…does she remember that months ago I went through a terrible, heart wrenching, devastating divorce? Does she even understand that I have NO intention of dating anyone…maybe ever again! I tell her I think she’s crazy and that there is no way I’m interested. She persists that he’s this great guy, and I’m like why don’t you date him if he’s so great? She begins to get the drift that I’m not interested, but

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What Growing Up in a Blended Family Taught Me at Christmas

By Teresa Christian / Relationships

My family is not unlike many families in America. When my dad married my mom in 1976, my two brothers and I gained two younger sisters and one younger brother. It was in December, very close to Christmas when they married. I don’t remember much about that first Christmas as a blended family, but over the years I noticed a pattern. My mother was deceased, so there was no other parent for my brothers and me to visit over the holidays. By contrast, my stepmother was divorced, so my new siblings spent time with their dad and other family. They also got more presents, more candy, and more attention. I was presented with an interesting dilemma … one that I wish I

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