Dear Wife of the Badge, You Are Strong

Hello, young wife.

Yeah, I’ve been in your shoes. I know exactly what it feels like to love a man behind the badge—to watch as he slides on that uniform all neatly pressed; to stand in the shadows quietly watching the methodical and meticulous process of penning on each of his bars, stars, and badge.

Oh, I remember.

I will never forget the sound of that Velcro as it adjusts and readjusts around his form, nor the click of the gun as it locks into place; the jingle of keys and the turn off, turn on of his two-way, as he tests its readiness.

Yes, he transforms within those moments.

He would never admit it, but as soon as the uniform goes on, so does the invisible wall of protection. His mind becomes totally focused; his tone a bit more authoritative; his walk a little more stoic.

With a quick peck on the cheek, he steps out the door, unable to promise that he’ll return at the end of his shift. Do you worry? Is there a moment when you see him almost hesitate, or is that your mind playing tricks as you try desperately to note every detail from his step off the porch until he is safely in his patrol car?

Like every other day, you care not to entertain the “what ifs,” for those can drive you crazy if you let them. Yes, you keep yourself busy working and shuttling kids here and there, dropping the dog off at the groomers, meeting friends for lunch, but in a brief moment of stillness, you quickly scan your Facebook feed. Another officer has been ambushed, gunned down while answering a call. You scroll quickly past only to see a fellow police wife post a black and blue teardrop. Your brain’s automatic response is to go straight to those deep recesses where the “what ifs” live and they tumble out of that jam-packed place…

What if it happens to him?

What if he doesn’t come home?

What if they knock on my door to tell me the bad news?

What if I can’t find the strength to tell the kids?

What if…

As the questions pile one on top of the other desperately trying to rob you of your peace, it is then that you come to the crossroads between fear and sanity; uncertainty and trust. A deep breath, a silent prayer, and you again remember who you are.

You are called. You are strong.

You were put in this role as wife to an officer. Not everyone could handle the stresses and strains this profession dishes out, but for reasons beyond your understanding, you were given this blessed position to help hold the line.

He needs you. You are his rock. He knows that all he has to do is text you the word, “pray,” and you are on it, fighting those unseen battles on his behalf.

You bring lightheartedness and laughter back into the room when the vile, evil deeds of this world have totally consumed and darkened his thoughts. It is you who becomes his biggest cheerleader when it seems as if everyone else is against him. It is you who has been given the responsibility to oversee and manage the household while he is gone. And it is you who lays awake at night listening to his breaths as if you’ve never heard them before.

You and your husband both hold special roles.

Young wife, never forget that your husband’s profession is still one of honor; that he does it because he wants to make a difference. He’s a protector by nature, you know, and is designed for this line of work specifically. Don’t allow the rejection and hatred from the outside to cause you to question his calling, but all the more provide him the love and grace he so desperately needs when he’s in your care.

Never for one second forget how important your role is in his well being; you set the climate of your home and create a safe haven from all those things that go bump in the night. It is that safety net that gives him the strength to get up and go back out there and do it all over again.

Yes, young wife, together, you and he are a force to be reckoned with, and with God as your lighthouse, you will be unstoppable. Fear and worry? Well, they’ll just have to reside somewhere else. They can take those “what ifs” and head straight for the door. For in this home, love will be the resounding theme and will conquer all fear that tries to enter.

Is this life easy? Nah, but it is so worth it. When you’ve come as far as I have, you’ll look back one day and say, “Young wife, quit fighting battles that aren’t yours to fight. Only, be still and let love do its work.”