Comparison

It’s been said that comparison is the thief of joy yet we all struggle with it. Read these articles for encouragement to live the comparison free life.

daring to go filterless how social media is impacting women and what we can do about it

Daring to Go Filterless: How Social Media Is Impacting Women and What We Can Do About It

Scrolling social media, I see women who are painted like porcelain dolls with tiny waists and thick-alicious hips. I see images of perfection that are totally disproportionate and unattainable. And what is worse: this dangerous trend now compels me. I find myself searching frantically for the perfect filter before I post a pic, the one that looks “natural” or like I’m just the right age (younger than I am). If I can’t find it, then I spend way too much time adjusting the lighting and color saturation; maybe I’ll even add one of those funky (and slightly creepy) filters that make me look like an extraterrestrial, flower child, or naughty pirate. I do this, I play along, even though most days all […]

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filterless lets get real about social media

Filterless—Let’s Get Real About Social Media

My kids love Instagram. They love it like a mom loves a Sunday afternoon nap, and if they ever have a chance to grab my phone, the first thing they do is hit the reels. Which, if I am being honest, I had no idea even existed. It didn’t take long for them to start spamming me with all kinds of nonsense, and although most of them were super annoying, there were a few where I was like, “Okay, some of these are clever.” Apparently, so is Instagram. They quickly figured out my style and started showing me only the ones I appeared to enjoy. It wasn’t long before I too was sucked into a deep hole, and a quick check of

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A Letter to My Daughter on Body Image: May You Love All of You

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) Dear Daughter, We are together more than ever these days. I watch as you wake each morning, walk into your closet, and choose an outfit that doesn’t go together. You pull up your leggings without noticing the skin that spills over the tight waistband. You run a brush through your hair and carefully choose a headband or opt for a braid. I passively wonder if you wish for hair opposite of your own in texture and color. But there is no sighing or visible expression of disappointment as you comb through the tangles and frizz. Instead, you smile and make silly faces at your reflection in the mirror. Virtual school ends, and you’re

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Stop People Pleasing Now With Cherlyn Decker – 159

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreDo other people’s opinions affect how you feel about yourself? Often find yourself trying to please others, hoping they will see you as you want to be seen? If so, you’ll appreciate this episode. Darlene Brock and Julie Bender interview Cherlyn Decker—a speaker, writer, and coach who has helped hundreds of women turn their struggles into a source of strength. They discuss everyday battles many women face: people pleasing, mom guilt, and obsessing over what others think of them. Cheryln shares practical tools that can help you turn from these harmful habits, encouraging you to look back on past life experiences for how they “stack”

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One-healthy-way-a-SAHM-handles-jealousy-of-her-husband

One Healthy Way a SAHM Handles Jealousy of Her Husband

My husband quietly closes the door behind him. It’s such a soft noise—like the sound of breathing out on a cold day. Lately, he has been working from home, and what used to be our guest room is now his office. He’s a scientist and does a lot with computers, so the desk, once lined with antique glass bottles of all colors and a sweet little doily from my mother-in-law, now looks like NASA headquarters. There are blinking blue and red lights, and charts and numbers and what is truly a different language spread across three giant computer screens. I imagine him sipping his coffee, glasses resting comfortably on his nose, nodding in agreement or gazing quizzically during his Zoom meetings with

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Episode 92 Proverbs 31 woman

This Grit and Grace Life Podcast Preview – Episode 92 Are You the Proverbs 31 Woman? Should You Be?

Ahh, the Proverbs 31 woman. We’ve all heard of her—a beautiful, hardworking wife and mother, who spends her days managing her household and curating nutritious meals for her family, all while dressed in luxurious purple silk. She seems like a fantasy, a perfect woman, and there seems to be so much pressure among Christian women to fit in that mold. What if you don’t feel like a Proverbs 31 woman? Maybe you’re a single mom, or you work from home. Do you fit in this category, and should you try? In reality, God has called us each to a different path that may not be identical to that of the lovely lady in the Proverbs, but she exists in each of us

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How to get aware from the comparison trap

Everyone Seems to Have It All but I Refused to Let Jealousy Steal My Joy

The other day I saw a meme that said, “Your ice cream is melting because you’re too busy counting someone else’s sprinkles.” It was completely random, but it has stuck with me. 2020 has been rough—super rough. We’ve lost people to a virus we can’t seem to get under control, our economy is confused, our society is super divided about everything, and we’re scared. It is so easy to fall into the trap of “if only I had _______” to make myself feel better. If only I could have it all, I’d be happy. If only I had a million dollars. If only I had subway tile instead of the cheap ugly tile that came with the house. If only I could

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Sure, It Was a Disaster… But Not a Failure

Lately I’ve been feeling like a failure and I just can’t seem to shake it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been with my kids for six months straight and I literally can’t remember the last time the house was clean and quiet. Or maybe it’s because we’re smack in the middle of a pandemic and every single decision I make (or don’t make) has me questioning whether or not it’s the right one, and whether or not some crazy butterfly effect will take place six months down the road, where I’ll look back and realize I have done something terribly wrong. Either way, I just had to sit down and write about it because I have a feeling I’m not the only one,

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My Dad's Suicide and the Hole in My Heart

Your Battle Is What Makes You Beautiful

Before my daughter was born, I hung a quote from The Velveteen Rabbit above her crib. I have no emotional connection to that book; in fact, I’ve never read it. But the second I read the words printed on that beautifully distressed canvas, my eyes welled up with tears because I’ve lived it out and thus learned the very lesson I suppose this soft, tattered bunny is sharing. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Do You Feel Pressured to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman? – 132

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Christian women often aspire to live that Proverbs 31 life, or what we perceive it to be. But sometimes the expectations are unrealistic, the pressure gets to be too great, and the doubts set it. Are you doing the right things and avoiding the wrong things? Do you feel the need to be better, sweeter, and to live a more godly life? Are you living up to the biblical example found in that text. Is it even realistic? These questions and more are discussed by co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Graham as they willingly admit their failures and tendencies to compare. While becoming like

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Doubt Your Influence? We Don’t and Here’s Why – 124

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Women have incredible influence. Whether we realize it or not, embrace it or not, or even like it or not, we have the power to affect others’ lives for good or for bad. Our life impacts those closest to us, in our homes and our social circles. We even influence across the internet, which reaches all around the world. This fact shouldn’t scare us (although some healthy fear could be appropriate here). Instead, it should inspire us to live a life worthy of imitation in all things—from family to faith to what we do for fun. In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, Co-Hosts

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Our Struggles Are Different, but His Grace Is Equal

Our Struggles Are Different, but His Grace Is Equal

Several years ago, I walked into a worship center in Tennessee. I was there visiting someone else, so with a heavy heart and thin faith I took my seat. To say I was broken is an understatement. I was shattered. To say I was lost doesn’t come close to where I was spiritually, physically, and emotionally. As I came into the hall and sat down, I noticed a young woman behind me. The music began and we sang the opening hymn before the greeting. After the song I turned to say hello to her, and as I did she held onto my hand. I mean, she had it in a death grip. I drank her in for a moment. Pale complexion, stringy

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

What’s Stopping You From Loving Yourself? How to Grow Self-Love – 120

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Let’s talk about self–love. We all struggle to some extent with it, from doubting ourselves, to battling insecurities, and feeling unworthy. We know these are things we need to let go of, but the problem lies in the fact that we have no idea how. When we search for how to cultivate more self-love, the suggestions we find are just silly. Will getting a massage or buying ourselves another pair of shoes really help us love ourselves more? Let’s be real, those are just cover-ups. If those don’t work, then where do we find more of this thing called self–love?  In this episode of This

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Why You Need to Support Other Women and 5 Ways to Start 2

Why You Need to Support Other Women and 5 Ways to Start

She sat across from me on the floor, on a multi-colored pillow. We were in a room full of women who were there for one reason: to replenish one another. This may seem odd or unfamiliar. It was to me at first. I had grown accustomed to petty competition that seeps into the pores of women, holding us back, keeping us on edge. What started in elementary school as girl-on-girl crime developed, blossomed, and bloomed into women throw-down tear-downs in the adult world. How did this happen? Gossip. Betrayal. Envy. Language. In our world, women compete for partners, jobs, best in motherhood, in sexiness, in meal preparation, in parties, in got-it-all-togetherness. Within this competition you’ll find eye-rolling, cutting other women down with words, whispers,

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This Is Why I’m so Glad I Gave up on the Perfect Body

This Is Why I’m so Glad I Gave up on the “Perfect Body”

How many women’s fashion bloggers or fitness influencers do you follow on social media? And how many of those women’s bodies are you envious of? Be honest with me. I know for most of us, we see their posts of them rocking some skinny jeans or hanging out in a sports bra and we think, “I would give anything to look like that” or “I wish I had her body.” I mean, come on, they look so great it’s only natural for us to think that. We allow their posts of their picture-perfect bodies to make us feel worse about our own. With every image we see, the worse we feel. It becomes a vicious cycle of constant comparison and dissatisfaction that

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Answering the Question “Who Am I?” With Meaghan Dawson – 116

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More A question we continuously ask in various ways is, “Who am I?”  We have women constantly wondering if they are doing what they are meant to be doing and if what they’re doing right now even matters. And most of all, they’re wondering how to find their self worth (if they aren’t already trying to find it through the titles they hold, the roles they play, and things they do). While it’s impossible for anyone to answer these questions for you, we know this episode of This Grit and Grace Life will provide you with the guidance you need.    Hosts Darlene and Julie

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

4 Realistic Ways to Shift Your Mindset in 2020 – 115

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Life is good. Actually, life is really good! However, for many us, we are more negative in the way we view things and struggle to see how great this life really is. We think we can’t help it–focusing on the negative is just the way we are. And when people around us try to help us see more of the positives, we think they just don’t understand the difficulties we are facing, right? The reality is, no one’s life is perfect. Each and every one of us has stress, struggles, obstacles and hardships. No matter how hard we try to control our lives, it’s

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