Grief

The process of grieving any loss; death as well as things such as divorce and relationships. The reality of the emotions as well as the process toward healing.

This Is a Window Into My Widowhood

This Is a Window Into My Widowhood

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) I remember getting the call. “Paul has had an accident and it’s not good. We need to get over there.” It was his dad delivering the news, and we needed to travel an hour and a half to learn more. The detective called him because the friend who was with him on the job site didn’t know his phone passcode but did know his dad’s number. By the time I reached my in-laws’ house in the neighboring city, they had decided we were all going because the detective had called again asking where we were and reiterated that we needed to get to the other coast urgently. So, his parents, our three-year-old son, […]

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Ask Dr. Zoe - How Do I Set Boundaries with My Invasive Mother-in-Law? feature image

Ask Dr. Zoe – Grieving Divorce

‘Running Turtle’ Asked: My marriage broke up about 7 months ago. In the last few days, we’ve been seriously discussing divorce. I’ve been grieving the last 7 months, but these conversations have brought on new, almost overwhelming waves of grief, how do I cope? Dr. Zoe Answered: Dear Running Turtle, I’m glad you used the word grief because that’s exactly what you are doing—grieving. Grief sucks always, but it is a necessary and healthy process when dealing with your loss. This is your season for grief. Feel it, eat some ice cream, wallow in it for a minute, scream, cry—get it out! Stop telling yourself it is overwhelming. It just is. Saying your grief is overwhelming is like saying water is too

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Grit and Grace When You Doubt Your Faith

Our faith, like anything in life, experiences seasons. When hard times strike—financial struggles, a difficult diagnosis, crumbling relationships, or heartbreak—it can be difficult to hold onto faith. You find yourself questioning and broken. It may be difficult, but here at Grit and Grace Life, we believe it’s possible to hold onto hope. We place our faith in a personal God, not in our circumstances. That may not take away the hard days, but it brings the strength to help us get through them. If you find yourself in the midst of these days, we recommend these articles for encouragement: Battered Faith: Holding on to Hope Even When You Struggle You May Not Understand Why This Is Happening, But You Will If You’re in

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Love Not Lost: Giving the Best Gift to Grieving Families

It’s challenging to bring awareness to something that’s terribly heartbreaking and downright depressing, but we must. All people share the need to be loved and understood, and I hope these stories of love, loss, and redemption inspire you to continue sharing stories to help raise awareness too. It was springtime in Atlanta. I was enjoying my beautiful baby girl, Skylar, not knowing how much time we had left with her. You see, when she was two months old, we were told she had a terminal condition called SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) and might not see her first birthday. We were sitting outside enjoying the lime green leaves starting to poke out when I got a phone call. My next door neighbor, Talitha,

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This Is Why the Hidden Scars of Miscarriage Are so Painful

This Is Why the Hidden Scars of Miscarriage Are so Painful

I’ve experienced a pain that no mother ever wants to endure—an awful nightmare that came to life not just once, but twice in my journey to motherhood. I’m not sure why I was chosen to become a mother to two angels, or why my children were never allowed to know life outside of my womb. Even now, nearly three years later, I think about that question at least once per day. I question the existence of a God that would allow me to go through such pain and not allow a baby to meet his mother and father. Some say it is time for me to move on with my life and focus on the two beautiful children I do have here

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When Others Minimize the Pain of Your Miscarriage

My husband and I have always been dreamers and planners. When we started dating, we dated with the intention of marriage being our end goal. We talked about life goals, dreams, that white picket fence, traveling plans, and of course, kids. We wanted children. Lots of them. Running around, playing. We wanted the chaos and the home filled with love and the laughter and the fun. Husband came from a big family (he is one of six) and I came from a large blended family (I am one of seven). But though our “plans” had children in them, the pressure of making sure we had “a plan” for when we wanted to start our family was there, loud and clear. I started

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Life-After-Skylar

Life After Skylar

This is part three of a four part series of a young mother’s story. We were so captivated by her journey we knew you would be too. Read the first two sections of the series, here: Part 1 Life Before Skylar and Part 2 Life With Skylar. After losing my daughter, and being intentional about experiencing the full depth of pain that came with it, I was questioning my decision to avoid anti-depressants. The heartbreak was too much. It was like that time when I was in the middle of hard labor and told my husband and my doula I wanted an epidural… and they told me the next contraction was coming and I needed to breathe deep, pretending not to hear me. I wanted

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Grieving what should have been

When Dreams Die… Grieving What Should Have Been

When we speak of grief it’s normally in the context of losing someone we love, but I’ve come to understand that the waves of grief roll over so many different areas of life. We just don’t realize it applies beyond loss, nor do we think it should. A dear friend has reminded me of this recently. She and her husband tried unsuccessfully to have children. They spent years in doctors’ offices exhausting all medical options to become pregnant. They experienced the roller coaster rides of fertilization treatments. When this failed they were told of another route to consider, adoption from within the foster care system. They filled out all the necessary paperwork, had the rooms in their house measured, and waited for children

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Stop Saying These Things to People Who Are Grieving

Stop Saying These Things to People Who Are Grieving

Most of us have experienced grief on some level—whether it be a death, a serious health condition, or even the loss of a pet. There are many reasons to grieve and all are legitimate. And, we all grieve differently. Sometimes in an attempt to say something meaningful or comforting, people will say things to us that frankly makes us want to smack them, because the things they say are no comfort at all, but can be insulting, ill-timed, or just plain ridiculous. Since none of us wants to be that person who says those things, I’ve compiled a list of things I’ve heard over the years that we should avoid saying. Remember, if you can’t find the right words, its best to

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seeing the good in a mixed season of life

Seeing the Good in a Mixed Season of Life

Author Margaret Feinberg wrote a blog about seasons of life and challenged readers to identify the season of life they’re currently journeying. I couldn’t. That’s because I don’t think we’re ever in just one season. My life has seasons, most definitely. But typically it’s not just one at any given time, but a combination of many seasons that I’m traveling, juggling, surviving … and sometimes overcoming. For example, I am definitely in a season of grief. I’ve been in this season before, at the very bottom of what seemed a bottomless pit, when my husband died 12 years ago. I was in a raw season of grief again when my daughter, my only child, moved away to college and I came home

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