Dr. Zoe Shaw, A Year of Self-Care

Grief

The process of grieving any loss; death as well as things such as divorce and relationships. The reality of the emotions as well as the process toward healing.

What Your Grieving Friend Really Wants You to Know (video)

Nothing embodies “grit and grace” quite like a grief journey—and this is true whether the person grieving is you or someone you love. Grief brings about a rollercoaster of emotions that vary with each individual. No one grief journey is the same as someone else’s. And because of that, it’s important to be sensitive to someone’s emotions and the memory of the person they lost. This is often difficult, and, if we’re being honest, a bit awkward. Our natural instinct is to reach out and shoulder some of the pain for our friend, to erase some of the sadness that has infiltrated her life. But in doing so, we stumble over our words, offer empty phrases intended to be encouraging, or try […]

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Now Is the Time to Get Comfortable With Grief

How to Get Comfortable With Your Grief

Dan, a cancer widower, answered my questions as I tapped away on my laptop. I was interviewing him for an article about a shower truck—this really cool ministry for the homeless in our community. He’d had a significant part in designing and converting the truck into two shower rooms, one for men and one for women. And now that it’s functional, he serves as a driver and facilitator of the ministry. After the interview, we lingered over hot beverages, exchanging our common experiences as long-term cancer caregivers. He teared up a couple times during the conversation and seemed almost apologetic. “I’m not normally an emotional guy,” he said as he wiped away grief that was leaking from his eyes. “Just when I

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Battling Depression? Find the Gift in the Darkness With Melissa Maimone – 133

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Can you find light in the darkness of depression? The surprising answer is “yes,” as gained from the personal experience of Melissa Maimone, author of The Radiant Midnight: Depression, Grace, and the Gifts of a Dark Place. She joins co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Graham to share what she learned from the many years she spent battling cycles of depression. There are gifts within slowness, solitude, and even sadness. She relates to those who have felt shame over this misunderstood hopelessness, especially as a Christian. She also offers helpful insight on how to love someone who faces this darkness. As all of us are

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My Jersey Mom on Life And How to Throw a Punch

My Jersey Mom on How to Throw a Punch (in the Battles of Life)

My mom is a small woman. She’s always been. It’s not so much that she’s short—she’s actually taller than me—but more that she’s always been thin and slight, her bones seemingly the same as a bird’s.  But what she lacks in stature, she makes up for in personality.  See, my mom is from Jersey. Technically, we all know it’s New Jersey, right? But the truth is, there is a certain cachet to New Jersey that fits only when you say “Jersey.” It’s more fitting to the person, to the aura, than the formal version. And my mom is very Jersey.  She’s tough. She’s got a fighter’s spirit. In some ways, it was difficult as a kid. My mom was quick to anger,

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Why Strong Women Can (and Should) Rebuild Their Lives with Molly Stillman – 125

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Women are so resilient. Even when we face challenges that could potentially take us out entirely, as is the case of our guest Molly Stillman, we tap into our deepest grit. With countless roles and seasons, we are continually reinventing and re-shifting. We give ourselves and others the necessary grace needed to gain strength and wisdom on the other side. Molly faced the death of her mother as a teen, found herself drowning in debilitating debt post-college, was a comedienne, weathered a toxic dating relationship, and then after marrying the true love of her life (and having two healthy kids) experienced the heartbreak of

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This Is What I’ve Learned 16 Years After My Miscarriage

This Is What I’ve Learned about Grieving My Miscarriage

17. This summer will mark 17 years ago that we suffered the unimaginable loss of a baby. Over time, the details have gotten somewhat fuzzy, but I do remember the significant physical and emotional hurt and pain of this late miscarriage. We were well into our 2nd trimester (around 17 weeks); friends and family knew we were expecting our third child—it was obvious since I was already showing quite a “baby bump.” I remember going into labor at home but not fully comprehending that that was what was happening to my body. After all, it was much too early for labor, I wasn’t even halfway done with this pregnancy. I remember knowing something was devastatingly wrong. I remember my husband trying to

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TobyMac's Son's Cause of Death Reminds Us That Faith Doesn't Protect Us From Pain

TobyMac’s Son’s Death Reminds Us That Faith Doesn’t Protect Us From Pain

I just read an article that made the cause of TobyMac’s son’s death public. Since his passing I have found myself torn, wondering, “Should the public know or not?” Toby’s career has made his life very public; it’s the nature of the music industry. When I worked with him as his personal manager in the early days, that was the goal. He was supposed to be on the stage sharing his heart and his songs. The way to do it well was to become a recognizable name.  When we were young and building the early stages of his music, we didn’t really think life would touch us. At least not in the ways that it has years later. I think we believed

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Recover From a Life Full of Battles?

‘Alisandra’ Asked: How do you recover from divorce, breast cancer, loss of a job, and not seeing your child every day? Dr. Zoe Answered: My immediate visual after reading your experience is a warrior woman, still standing in the midst of the haze of battle. You may not visualize yourself in this way, but you are still standing—and you’ve been through a battle! I don’t know all of the circumstances. I’m not sure if you have an adult child or a minor. But loss is loss and the best way to recover from it is to walk through it. When a lot of bad things happen to you, you can get hyper-focused on yourself—and you need to! But it can also lead

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This Is Why We All Need Holiday Traditions

This Is Why We All Need Holiday Traditions

I love Hallmark Christmas movies. It drives my family crazy, but each year on the last weekend of October, my television is tuned to Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas through the end of the year. And if I am unable to view a premier, I record it to watch later. I have a checklist, a system, so I don’t miss any of the new shows. One of this year’s movies I had to record for later was Two Turtle Doves, a film about continuing treasured holiday traditions in the midst of grief and loss. I’m going to be frank: it hit a little too close to home. Now, initially when volunteering to write about holiday traditions, I was planning on providing a generic

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Can I Move on After Pregnancy Loss?

‘Pregnancy Loss’ Asked: I am currently dealing with a pregnancy loss. It is a blighted ovum and my body is just not catching up to what is happening. I am going back to the doctor to make final decisions at the end of the week. The problem is I still have pregnancy symptoms and because I haven’t physically miscarried yet, I just don’t feel like I am truly processing what is happening. To make things more complicated my husband is graduating from police academy (he has been gone for 6.5 months – only home on weekends) next week and then we may go away before he starts at his post the following week. While the distraction is helpful, it prolongs the process

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

What I Learned From Making the Hardest Choice with Shannon Barbosa – 110

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More  Hard choices are part of life. Regardless of being strong women, when we are faced with a big decision, many of us just want to take the easiest way out. We try our best to avoid facing the difficulties that come with making the harder choice. Why should we, couldn’t we just take the easy way out? In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, hosts Darlene and Julie chat with Shannon Barbosa, a friend and writer for The Grit and Grace Project. Through sharing HerStory, Shannon shines light on the miracles that come from making the hardest choice. HerStory is a brand-new

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when you can't suppress your pain anymore

When You Can’t Suppress Your Pain Anymore

One sentence. That’s all it took. One sentence bouncing around in my head. Slowly eroding the emotional walls that I had put up. One sentence that annoyed the crap out of me but also brought about freedom. I had no idea how much I had stuffed down, all in a massive effort to “just get over it.” One sentence, that’s all it took for the dam to break loose… “If you mute the pain, you’ll mute the joy.” And just like that, all the pent-up emotions came gushing out. Anger, frustration, grief, anguish… more anger, more grief. It was like this internal storm cloud broke loose with a deluge of release and then after it had unleashed all its fury, the calm

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Handle Crushing Grief?

‘Deb’ Asked: As I listened to Julie Graham’s story, I look back at how I prayed for her as she walked through Paul’s death. Little did I know that a week later, I would be walking through my own shock and grief when my 36-year-old daughter died suddenly. Then less than 2 months later, in December 2017, my mom died suddenly and 2 weeks later, my husband had a massive stroke which has left him with left-side paralysis. As I listened to Julie’s podcast, it brought me right back there. I have never spoken to anyone about the intense grief that sometimes just overwhelms me. Dr. Zoe Answered: Your story breaks my heart, but the last sentence concerned me more than all

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I Never Wanted to Be a Pregnant Widow 2

I Never Wanted to Be a Pregnant Widow

This is part one of a three-part series following Ashby’s story.  A pregnant widow: two words I never thought I would use to describe myself, especially considering I never wanted to get married or have children. However, I’m grateful to say God had very different plans for me. I met my husband, Spencer, at a fundraiser where an organization we were both a part of called CREW was raising money for my mission trip to Africa. In his mind, he had pictured me as a 26-year-old black man and was surprised to see that I was a 5-foot tall blonde, young woman. He said he fell in love immediately, but much to his amusement, I completely ignored him—something his handsome and funny

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TobyMac—Heartbreak to Hope, Healing Through Music

There is one thing I have begged God not to ask of me, a life heartbreak I have never felt capable of handling: that is to bury a child. The day I laid eyes on my firstborn my love was instantaneous, and I realized that I would do anything in my power to care for, nurture and protect this human God had placed in my life. Losing her was unfathomable to me. When my youngest was born, my emotions were equally as strong. To this day I am truly thankful He has not placed me in that heartbreaking place. Yet someone whom I walked a significant season of life with, Toby McKeehan, and his wife, Amanda, have found themselves facing the very

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Julie Graham’s Untold Story of Heartbreak, Healing and Hope – 101

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreEvery woman’s story is unique. So is the road she’s traveled while discovering her inner strength, her grit, and her grace. We don’t always tell these stories, perhaps the hurt is still present or we fear what others may think. But sharing is what often encourages others and offers hope to them when they, too, find themselves in hard places. That is why, this week, our bubbly, quick-witted co-host, Julie Graham, shares the full story of one part of her life. You’ve heard a bit of her traumatic childhood and the unexpected passing of her husband. But this week she goes deeper, telling of the

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If Suicide Has Touched Your Life, This Is for You

If Suicide Has Touched Your Life, This Is for You

Few things tear more deeply at the heart than the loss of someone to suicide. When the call comes, and the reality hits, it feels as if futility has thrust its way into your life. Control has been lost, hope shattered, and you are left bereft missing someone you love. Instantly the questions begin. How could he/she? What was so bad that there was no other choice? What could I have done? The “if only’s” run rampant in your heart and mind. Several of the writers at The Grit and Grace Project have walked this life reality. Through their writings, they have shared their stories, revealed their hearts, and offered a glimpse into the world that suicide ushers. The stories told and

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