Self Worth

Every woman is valuable & worthy, but sometimes we struggle to overcome our insecurities. Here are great reads to help you discover your inherent self worth & how to live in it. #gritandgracelife

True Beauty is Found in a Woman’s Strength

The unspoken definition of a woman’s true beauty often appears on the cover of magazines in the grocery store checkout aisle.  Gracing the pages is a photo-shopped image of an already nearly perfect-looking human being. The flawless skin, sparkling eyes, not a hair out of place, and unrealistic body type make me want just to turn every magazine backward, so we don’t have to endure. Social media is even worse. But having lived quite some time, walking alongside many women, I can honestly say that’s not the beauty I am drawn to. That is not to diminish the value of the physically beautiful women in our lives. Trust me, they really do have their own challenges, often insecure like every one of […]

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10 Classic Beauties Full of Grit, Grace and Inspiration

As a devoted fan of black-and-white cinema and 1950s fashion, I relished the moments I spent watching classic films like Sabrina (check out the swoon-worthy outfits Givenchy designed for Audrey Hepburn) or North by Northwest with my Gram, who never failed to captivate me with stories about the private lives of all the actors. Theses classic beauties inspired me. I’d sing my little heart out with Etta James as she dazzled me with “At Last”—a favorite that still causes goosebumps to rise along my arms—or I would study the prized, yellowed newspapers documenting JFK’s assassination my great-grandma had tucked away in the corner of her closet. I’d stare at the picture of Jackie Kennedy, clothed in black and grief, holding her children’s

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alarm clock on a nightstand next to a stack of reading material. Feature image for Stuck In Shame? Find Freedom from Your Past!

Stuck In Shame? Find Freedom from Your Past!

I’m always surprised at how much our past can follow us around. It shows up when we are weak or vulnerable and often pokes at us when our guard is down. For me, my past resulted in a heart filled with shame. It came to visit me for the first time when I was 5. It started as an innocent hug and progressed to repeated betrayal. He was old enough to be my grandpa, a neighbor that could not control his brokenness and obsessions. I was left with this overwhelming sense that I had done something wrong, and doing something wrong turned into being someone wrong, and that leaves a lasting impression on a young heart. Shame: A Repeat Visitor Shame visited

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god loves all of me even my messy armpit hair

Does God Love All of Me—Even My Messy Armpit Hair?

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) It was after my three-year-old daughter’s unsolicited observation that I realized how much God loves all of me—even the messier bits. “What’s under your armpit, mom?” she asked me from the back seat of our minivan. I’d been smooshed between two toddlers for days on highways and back country roads. Memories of the car salesman saying that vans are “roomy” and “give ample leg room” flashed before my mind like some high school prank. I felt like a clam in a slow cooker. We were in and out of Airbnb‘s and survived long nights with extended family (one of our kids doesn’t sleep well traveling) and a handful of states. We hurdled through

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To the Christian Woman with a Crooked Past

To the Christian Woman With a Crooked Past

As I sat in that stuffy, little room listening to the woman on stage, I looked around at the other women—some nodding along, some with eyes glistening with unshed tears—all with rapt attention. I listened to her testimony, heard her words, walked through her journey with the Lord. And with a bitter inward sigh, I thought to myself, “That’s it? That’s the best you’ve got?” Her story, it was beautiful. Her faith, it was unwavering and strong through the peaks and valleys of her life. I should have felt inspired by her testimony. I knew it took courage and strength for her to sit up there, in front of her peers, and bare her soul in words as personal as any words

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Dear Mama, You Need to Break up With These 3 Things

Dear Mama, There’s no doubt about it: motherhood isn’t for sissies. As a mom, you are a leader. An advocate. A nurse. A teacher. A mediator. A friend. A vomit-cleaner, diaper-changer, and so much more. Your job requires a steady arsenal of qualities at your disposal: resiliency; stamina; wisdom; grace; compassion; laughter; and, again, so much more. What you don’t need, though, is that inner lethal voice that criticizes you or downright shames you. It’s the voice that tells you that you’re messing up the little lives in your care or that you’re simply not cut out for the job of motherhood. Sometimes, it whispers quietly, and you briefly forget it even exists. On other days, the bully voice screams louder than

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Get Ready to Break Free of Self-Doubt and Shame – 220

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreWould you say you’re confident? Or would it be more accurate to say that you experience flickers of self-doubt now and again? If you said the latter, you’re not alone. This week, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss the plague of self-doubt and shame we face as women, and how we get caught in the trap of comparison. They break down the most common areas we struggle with, including feeling too old; feeling too young; wondering if we’re good enough; feeling burdened by our pasts; and more, and share ways to identify your strengths (rather than focus on your perceived weaknesses). If you’re looking to break free

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28 Life Lessons I've Learned in My 28 Years

28 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in My 28 Years

My 28th birthday came slowly and quietly just as I expected. It wasn’t loud like my 21st or social like my 16th. It wasn’t ground-breaking like my 18th or laced with travel like I enjoy. It came expectantly and gradually. Unhurried and minimal. Simple, just like life has been. No big plans. Just gratitude. A day to appreciate the little things. A spa day at home. Peace and quiet. Surrounded by books, an essential oil diffuser, and hot tea. But as I watched the sun peek from behind the clouds, I thought about those 28 years and what they’ve meant to me. They meant life, of course. But they were lessons too. Life lessons I never quite learned in school, but essential

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10 Things That Make a Woman Beautiful

10 Things That Make a Woman Beautiful

Here are 10 qualities that make a woman beautiful: 1. She can laugh at her silly mistakes, knowing it doesn’t diminish her dignity. 2. She gives the benefit of the doubt. 3. When she comes across something that reminds her of someone special, she buys it for them. Just because. Even if it’s just a candy bar. 4. She gets to know the people around her: baristas, security guards, receptionists, etc. Strangers become her friends. 5. She chooses to see the good in all people, knowing everyone is a work in progress. 6. She can let go. 7. She’s humble, but finds satisfaction in a job well done. 8. She’s strong, but she doesn’t use her strength to push other people around.

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

From Living on the Streets to Finding Redemption with Laila Schell – 218

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreYour circumstances don’t define you. Take it from this week’s podcast guest, Laila Schell, whose upbringing was anything but conventional. In this raw narration of her life story, Laila shares how she grew up poverty-stricken, bouncing between family homes and foster care and feeling the sting of rejection from her parents. Living on the street, Laila struggled with drugs and discovered she was pregnant. Her life seemed hopeless until one unexpected moment of deliverance changed everything. Now, Laila sees the beauty of leading an imperfect life—recognizing our past doesn’t define us. It only points back to God’s ability to pull us from our deepest despair and guide

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

It’s Independence Day—Are You an Independent Woman? – 217

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreHappy 4th of July! While we’re celebrating our nation’s independence and the individual freedoms over backyard cookouts and late-night fireworks, we also can’t help but wonder: What does it look like to be an independent woman? In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender unpack the characteristics of an independent woman. They also discuss the importance of identifying your value outside of your job title or relationship status and, most importantly, how to channel confidence and find contentment in who you are. The independent woman is one who makes a difference because she knows what she brings to the table. Is

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Discover 5 AA Slogans That Bring Wisdom to Any Woman’s Life

Discover 5 AA Slogans That Bring Wisdom to Any Woman’s Life

My former chosen method of numbing pain included self-medicating with pills and toxic relationships. It’s taken years, open sharing and honest conversations, lots of therapy, and a few rock-bottom moments to set myself on a path of growth and healing. For many people who struggle with addiction, recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) have ignited a new way of life, and a newfound sense of identity and purpose. Yet, the programs practices aren’t just life-changing for its members alone—anyone can benefit from the organization’s principles, and steps. Some of the best life practices can be found in the AA slogans. These five AA slogans every woman can incorporate into her daily life! 1. One Day at a Time To take it one

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Breaking Up Made Me a Strong Woman

How Breaking Up Made Me a Strong Woman

Once upon a time, I was in a five-year relationship. There were good times and bad times, but overall—it was just a lot of time. A lot of shared experiences. A lot of shared life. It was a devastating loss at the time, but, now, I’m so grateful for the experience because breaking up made me a strong woman. Yes, I was sad when we went our separate ways. But more than anything, I was so incredibly lost. I didn’t know what to do with my time. I didn’t even know what I liked to do. I had no idea who I was by myself. I wasn’t exactly a fan of feeling my emotional pain; what I really wanted to do was fast-forward

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this is what i would say to the man who raped me

This Is What I Would Say to the Man Who Raped Me

The cutting cold of the night numbed my cheek as I lay against a pillow of snow. My head was heavy—I could not lift it—but my eyes could still look around from my quiet place on the ground. No one. Silence. Maybe the faraway hum of traffic. Maybe a street light casting a yellow shadow on the parked cars. Maybe the taste of acidic peppermint in my mouth. I was glad to be alone. The crowd had become too suffocating. Someone’s parents were gone for the weekend, so a bunch of us decided to have an older brother buy alcohol. The one who smoked Camels and drove a Camaro. Boys in puffy coats sat around a kitchen table and played cards, and

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Anatomy of a Strong Woman

Anatomy of a Strong Woman

What makes a strong woman is touted in academia and social media; it’s displayed daily on almost every television network. The phrase is even currently awarded to those who are not biologically female. But I contend being born female is the only path to becoming a strong woman. Those are the women I admire and want to emulate. Today’s version of female strength is often exemplified by some of the angriest ladies I have ever encountered. I’m not sure that much of anything would make these women happy. They tell us we should demand respect, our rights, and equality (but oftentimes with an air of superiority). This is not to say that women cannot have a voice, that we are undeserving of respect,

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Quitting but not failing

When a Strong Woman is Quitting but not Failing

You’re reading this because there is something in your life that you have an inkling you need to let go of. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, a dream, or a life path, you know you really shouldn’t be involved in it anymore. It just doesn’t feel right, but you aren’t sure what to do about it. You may be quitting but not failing. I don’t know about you, but I have a million “don’t quit” mantras in my head that make quitting feel the same as failing. They all say that if I choose to end something in my life, I am a failure. When you think of yourself as a strong woman, quitter doesn’t play into that description. Having perseverance

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How Do I Know What Defines Me?

How Do I Know What Defines Me?

I am single. I am widowed. I am married. I am divorced. I am a mom. I have no children. I am a career woman. I stay at home. I am an artist. I am a cancer survivor. I have a doctorate. I finished high school. Are these really who we are? Or are they merely part of our journey, a title, or life experience that will demonstrate what we are made of? I, my friend, will passionately argue for the latter. In my 20s, I was a booking agent for musicians when I married my boss. No, it was not one of those torrid affairs in the workplace that you would read or hear about over your lunch break. He was

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