Self Worth

Every woman is valuable & worthy, but sometimes we struggle to overcome our insecurities. Here are great reads to help you discover your inherent self worth & how to live in it. #gritandgracelife

Bible Verses From the Grit and Grace Team on Self Worth

Bible Verses on Self-Worth From the Grit and Grace Team

From where do you derive your self-worth? Is it in the busyness of your job, where you clock up to 60 hours a week? Maybe it’s in your doting husband and your three smart, well-mannered children. Or, on the other side of the spectrum, maybe your self-worth is at rock bottom and you feel useless, as though your life holds no value. We’ll stop you right there to say that’s not true, friend. Here are some Bible Verses on Self-Worth that will help you: But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter […]

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woman with leather pants and red heels sitting crossed-legged and confident on stairs because she learned how to say good riddance to shame

How to Say “Good Riddance” to that Pesky Shadow: Shame

I did not have an imaginary friend when I was a little girl, but I had something else that followed me around for as far back as I can remember: shame. Shame has been along for the ride for as long as I have had my shadow back there. Only in the last few years am I realizing it has never been a friend. I can remember as far as back as elementary school feeling ashamed of my alcoholic father. I loved my dad and was a total daddy’s girl, but I knew then my dad was different from other dads. Not knowing it was shame, of course, until now. Until looking back. Then the shame from being the girl with the

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middle-aged woman smirking at her desk next to her laptop after learning to embrace the beauty of rejection

The Beauty of Rejection—Creating a Stronger You

The publishing journey isn’t easy. I’ve had 20+ years of rejections and not-good-enoughs and you’ll-never-be-enoughs. Folders with “not quite” on business letterheads and saved voicemails of “not this time.” “Not you,” says the agent, the editor, the reporter. Not now. I’ve had publishers tell me that my writing is wonderful, but my social media followers aren’t high enough. My concept is original, but my platform needs development. My platform is great, but my concept is tired. That I can’t write about faith because I’m not Christian enough or that I’m too faith-based and should delete all mentions of (whisper) Jesus. I don’t dance on TikTok or get paid to put on face cream or crop-top sweaters. I’m not an influencer; I’m a

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The Holidays and My Martha Heart

It happened again. I sat down at the Thanksgiving table. A table ringed with these gifts: a husband, our children, their wives, and their children. They are my motives. They are why I schemed and shopped and cooked and baked (a chocolate-iced zebra birthday cake the shape of Africa … you know, the shape of above-and-beyond love). They are why I hauled it all from our house, along with flowers and wine and pretty little napkins. Today, at the table with this loud, fun family of ours, is the prequel to the next celebration, the one that means exponentially more cooking and baking and hauling and shopping and scheming. Today is the tugboat for that freighter called Christmas that sails into our

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True Beauty is Found in a Woman’s Strength

The unspoken definition of a woman’s true beauty often appears on the cover of magazines in the grocery store checkout aisle.  Gracing the pages is a photo-shopped image of an already nearly perfect-looking human being. The flawless skin, sparkling eyes, not a hair out of place, and unrealistic body type make me want just to turn every magazine backward, so we don’t have to endure. Social media is even worse. But having lived quite some time, walking alongside many women, I can honestly say that’s not the beauty I am drawn to. That is not to diminish the value of the physically beautiful women in our lives. Trust me, they really do have their own challenges, often insecure like every one of

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10 Classic Beauties Full of Grit, Grace and Inspiration

As a devoted fan of black-and-white cinema and 1950s fashion, I relished the moments I spent watching classic films like Sabrina (check out the swoon-worthy outfits Givenchy designed for Audrey Hepburn) or North by Northwest with my Gram, who never failed to captivate me with stories about the private lives of all the actors. Theses classic beauties inspired me. I’d sing my little heart out with Etta James as she dazzled me with “At Last”—a favorite that still causes goosebumps to rise along my arms—or I would study the prized, yellowed newspapers documenting JFK’s assassination my great-grandma had tucked away in the corner of her closet. I’d stare at the picture of Jackie Kennedy, clothed in black and grief, holding her children’s

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alarm clock on a nightstand next to a stack of reading material. Feature image for Stuck In Shame? Find Freedom from Your Past!

Stuck In Shame? Find Freedom from Your Past!

I’m always surprised at how much our past can follow us around. It shows up when we are weak or vulnerable and often pokes at us when our guard is down. For me, my past resulted in a heart filled with shame. It came to visit me for the first time when I was 5. It started as an innocent hug and progressed to repeated betrayal. He was old enough to be my grandpa, a neighbor that could not control his brokenness and obsessions. I was left with this overwhelming sense that I had done something wrong, and doing something wrong turned into being someone wrong, and that leaves a lasting impression on a young heart. Shame: A Repeat Visitor Shame visited

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god loves all of me even my messy armpit hair

Does God Love All of Me—Even My Messy Armpit Hair?

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) It was after my three-year-old daughter’s unsolicited observation that I realized how much God loves all of me—even the messier bits. “What’s under your armpit, mom?” she asked me from the back seat of our minivan. I’d been smooshed between two toddlers for days on highways and back country roads. Memories of the car salesman saying that vans are “roomy” and “give ample leg room” flashed before my mind like some high school prank. I felt like a clam in a slow cooker. We were in and out of Airbnb‘s and survived long nights with extended family (one of our kids doesn’t sleep well traveling) and a handful of states. We hurdled through

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To the Christian Woman with a Crooked Past

To the Christian Woman With a Crooked Past

As I sat in that stuffy, little room listening to the woman on stage, I looked around at the other women—some nodding along, some with eyes glistening with unshed tears—all with rapt attention. I listened to her testimony, heard her words, walked through her journey with the Lord. And with a bitter inward sigh, I thought to myself, “That’s it? That’s the best you’ve got?” Her story, it was beautiful. Her faith, it was unwavering and strong through the peaks and valleys of her life. I should have felt inspired by her testimony. I knew it took courage and strength for her to sit up there, in front of her peers, and bare her soul in words as personal as any words

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Dear Mama, You Need to Break up With These 3 Things

Dear Mama, There’s no doubt about it: motherhood isn’t for sissies. As a mom, you are a leader. An advocate. A nurse. A teacher. A mediator. A friend. A vomit-cleaner, diaper-changer, and so much more. Your job requires a steady arsenal of qualities at your disposal: resiliency; stamina; wisdom; grace; compassion; laughter; and, again, so much more. What you don’t need, though, is that inner lethal voice that criticizes you or downright shames you. It’s the voice that tells you that you’re messing up the little lives in your care or that you’re simply not cut out for the job of motherhood. Sometimes, it whispers quietly, and you briefly forget it even exists. On other days, the bully voice screams louder than

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Get Ready to Break Free of Self-Doubt and Shame – 220

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreWould you say you’re confident? Or would it be more accurate to say that you experience flickers of self-doubt now and again? If you said the latter, you’re not alone. This week, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss the plague of self-doubt and shame we face as women, and how we get caught in the trap of comparison. They break down the most common areas we struggle with, including feeling too old; feeling too young; wondering if we’re good enough; feeling burdened by our pasts; and more, and share ways to identify your strengths (rather than focus on your perceived weaknesses). If you’re looking to break free

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28 Life Lessons I've Learned in My 28 Years

28 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in My 28 Years

My 28th birthday came slowly and quietly just as I expected. It wasn’t loud like my 21st or social like my 16th. It wasn’t ground-breaking like my 18th or laced with travel like I enjoy. It came expectantly and gradually. Unhurried and minimal. Simple, just like life has been. No big plans. Just gratitude. A day to appreciate the little things. A spa day at home. Peace and quiet. Surrounded by books, an essential oil diffuser, and hot tea. But as I watched the sun peek from behind the clouds, I thought about those 28 years and what they’ve meant to me. They meant life, of course. But they were lessons too. Life lessons I never quite learned in school, but essential

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10 Things That Make a Woman Beautiful

10 Things That Make a Woman Beautiful

Here are 10 qualities that make a woman beautiful: 1. She can laugh at her silly mistakes, knowing it doesn’t diminish her dignity. 2. She gives the benefit of the doubt. 3. When she comes across something that reminds her of someone special, she buys it for them. Just because. Even if it’s just a candy bar. 4. She gets to know the people around her: baristas, security guards, receptionists, etc. Strangers become her friends. 5. She chooses to see the good in all people, knowing everyone is a work in progress. 6. She can let go. 7. She’s humble, but finds satisfaction in a job well done. 8. She’s strong, but she doesn’t use her strength to push other people around.

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

From Living on the Streets to Finding Redemption with Laila Schell – 218

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreYour circumstances don’t define you. Take it from this week’s podcast guest, Laila Schell, whose upbringing was anything but conventional. In this raw narration of her life story, Laila shares how she grew up poverty-stricken, bouncing between family homes and foster care and feeling the sting of rejection from her parents. Living on the street, Laila struggled with drugs and discovered she was pregnant. Her life seemed hopeless until one unexpected moment of deliverance changed everything. Now, Laila sees the beauty of leading an imperfect life—recognizing our past doesn’t define us. It only points back to God’s ability to pull us from our deepest despair and guide

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

It’s Independence Day—Are You an Independent Woman? – 217

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreHappy 4th of July! While we’re celebrating our nation’s independence and the individual freedoms over backyard cookouts and late-night fireworks, we also can’t help but wonder: What does it look like to be an independent woman? In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender unpack the characteristics of an independent woman. They also discuss the importance of identifying your value outside of your job title or relationship status and, most importantly, how to channel confidence and find contentment in who you are. The independent woman is one who makes a difference because she knows what she brings to the table. Is

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Discover 5 AA Slogans That Bring Wisdom to Any Woman’s Life

Discover 5 AA Slogans That Bring Wisdom to Any Woman’s Life

My former chosen method of numbing pain included self-medicating with pills and toxic relationships. It’s taken years, open sharing and honest conversations, lots of therapy, and a few rock-bottom moments to set myself on a path of growth and healing. For many people who struggle with addiction, recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) have ignited a new way of life, and a newfound sense of identity and purpose. Yet, the programs practices aren’t just life-changing for its members alone—anyone can benefit from the organization’s principles, and steps. Some of the best life practices can be found in the AA slogans. These five AA slogans every woman can incorporate into her daily life! 1. One Day at a Time To take it one

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this is what i would say to the man who raped me

This Is What I Would Say to the Man Who Raped Me

The cutting cold of the night numbed my cheek as I lay against a pillow of snow. My head was heavy—I could not lift it—but my eyes could still look around from my quiet place on the ground. No one. Silence. Maybe the faraway hum of traffic. Maybe a street light casting a yellow shadow on the parked cars. Maybe the taste of acidic peppermint in my mouth. I was glad to be alone. The crowd had become too suffocating. Someone’s parents were gone for the weekend, so a bunch of us decided to have an older brother buy alcohol. The one who smoked Camels and drove a Camaro. Boys in puffy coats sat around a kitchen table and played cards, and

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