Friendship

Relationships between humans, with all our messiness, requires effort. Whether it’s with family, friends, or co-workers, it just takes work. It will require a bunch of grit and a boatload of grace. There will be days you will think it’s just not worth it, and in some cases it may not be. Yet, in the grand scheme of life, healthy relationships are indeed worth the effort they require. The treasure gained, life shared, and wisdom earned are wonderful byproducts gleaned from no other source. So here are a few things we can do to build those lasting relationships. 1. Listen. With the intention of hearing what they have to say, not listening to formulate our response. 2. Observe. Take the time to observe their

Like the rotating menu of lattes at Starbucks, every season has it’s own flavor of busyness. Each one can shake up our schedules (and our budgets), and life gets busy fast! My calendar is full to the brim with commitments, parties, and family trips, and my brain is reeling with dozens of Pinterest projects that will cost me approximately $1 million dollars to make but will definitely help me save money…or something. During such times, it is all too easy to push friendships to the back burner. And even when we manage to carve out brief blocks to meet with friends for coffee or a play date at Chick-fil-a, those breaks from the craziness quickly turn into complaint sessions. We allow ourselves to

I want to be a bucket-filling kind of friend. As women in today’s world, we are forced to wear many hats, endure many demands, be put upon, put out, worn out and hung out to dry. We have to be on the mark 24/7. We are married, single, single-again, businesswomen, retired, and starting over and over again. We are wife, mother, coach, lover, counselor, teacher, cook, hostess, driver, repair-woman, event planner … the list goes on and on. We are tired and barely have time for friendships. Ladies, make no mistake about it, we need healthy bucket-filling friendships. A wise friend recently reminded me that “Friendship is a relationship between two imperfect people.” So true; yet we expect our friends to meet

I now know that the greater part of love is knowledge and insight. Knowledge of the person loved. My self-disclosure to him or her so that he or she can know me back. This insight helps us know how to best love one another. I know, it doesn’t sound sexy, but believe me, this is where real love lives. I wish I’d understood this sooner. Allow me the understatement that my husband and I are different. I could make a list of our differences, but this is the one that used to feed the most discord between us: he is an introvert and I am an extrovert. The other day I ran into a friend, literally, while running. I stopped, a little breathless,

If wealth is determined by the friendships in our lives, then I am swimming in gold. There was a time when this wasn’t true. In fact, for a time in my early 30s, I experienced such poverty in this area that I ached. Thankfully, during the past decade, several women have entered my story, invested in me, and become an integral part of my life. These women are 24 karat beauties, who have shining hearts, keen wit, and generous spirits. And I rarely spend time with them. I don’t know about you, but I don’t get to spend a lot of time with my friends. I’m talking about “no agenda, no errands, no exercise, no excuse” together-for-the-fun-of-it time. In the past when I’ve

After graduating college and getting married one month later, I really struggled with making and maintaining friendships. I’m finding that being an adult and experiencing difficulty/disappointments in friendship isn’t a coincidence—though it did leave me bitter in the beginning. Here are a few things I’ve learned that have kept me from bitterness and unrealistic expectations in this new territory of developing adult friendships. Perspective changes everything! 1. For me, realizing the difference in the sociocultural climate of Colorado (where I live now) and Florida (where I grew up) was very helpful. After college and as a happy newlywed, I invited women I knew from college, work, or church to coffee or lunch. The typical outcome? I was canceled on… a lot. I’m not

It can be really hard for moms of small children to not feel isolated. The difficulties of getting out the door with babies and toddlers in tow often makes moms just hunker down inside. Even there, finding time for phone conversations can be daunting. Here are a few tips of how to build friendships in this season of life: • Learn the art of short phone conversations. Plan them for times when you know you’ll actually have 10 or 15 minutes to yourself. • Invite other women into your home without expectations. That means you don’t expect yourself to be the perfect hostess! Other moms won’t be bothered by toys on the floor or a breast pump on the coffee table. Keep