Dr. Zoe Shaw, A Year of Self-Care

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How to Wait With Grace During the Adoption Process 2 WP

How to Wait With Grace During the Adoption Process

Oh my goodness, it’s with tremendous humility that I write about adoption. To me, there is no greater honor than to have been chosen to adopt each of my babies. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would ever be giving insight or even be passionate about such a precious gift, I would have very enthusiastically said, “Never!” I have to confess that I love my comfort zones. It’s something I’ve always struggled with—making sure I adjust, adapt, and prepare in order to be comfortable. I thought that if something was “hard” then I must not be doing it right. This really started after my mom passed away. I began to take every relationship and situation in my life […]

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When Roles Reverse: Caring for Your Aging Parents

When Roles Reverse: Caring for Your Aging Parents

I always thought she would live with us, and I assumed it would involve much resistance. She’d said she never wanted to be a burden to any of her children. But my mother arrived with less dragging of heels than I’d imagined. She had blacked out and hit the floor of the drug store in the tiny town where she lived. The doctor couldn’t seem to determine what was wrong. “Mom, come stay with us,” I urged. “Just until they can figure out what’s causing this.” She finally consented and my husband and I drove over the mountains to pick her up. Mom saw the cardiologist on a Tuesday before Christmas and was outfitted with a heart monitor. I received a call

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Do You Feel Abandoned by God?

Do You Feel Abandoned by God?

A cool breeze cuts through the layers of my favorite sweatshirt and long sleeve t-shirt, causing my shoulders to shiver. I pull the sherpa blanket closer to my chin as I sit on our back deck, surrounded by the fading images of fall. Only a few golden and scarlet leaves remain on naked branches. The green grass of summer is hidden beneath a blanket of leaves that beg to be raked into piles. My husband stokes the fire pit, adding a log as embers float into the dusk sky. The sounds of a college football game drift from the patio TV, but I barely notice, distracted by my own thoughts. We Were Never Abandoned It’s been a hard season. A hard year…or

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Can Redemptive Love Overcome Racial Division?

Can Redemptive Love Overcome Racial Division?

Early morning is my favorite time of day, and the best part of those special moments is time spent around the table with my husband. We share breakfast, cups of steaming tea, and discuss what is on our hearts. It is a treasured time that we try to maintain through the demands of our full schedules. During one of our morning chats, we reminisced about a recent trip: A drive from Oregon to California along a scenic byway that took us through open fields, along the edges of tall summits, and through a swarm of grasshoppers (I’ll save the explanation of the insect invasion for another time). An Unusual Confession We left the tranquility of Oregon and hit a wall of traffic

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I Made a Change—And It Brought My Prodigal HomeLove, Not Judgment, Brought My Prodigal Son Home

I Made a Change—And It Brought My Prodigal Home

This is a story about me and my baby, who’s now 22, and the misery we walked through together to find a love connection. It’s a story of our mutual failure, but it’s a story with a happy ending. I lived the miracle. I watched it change me. And then I watched it change my prodigal son. Stone’s given me permission to tell it with all the sordid details—I love a blank check—but I’ll just hit the lowlights. How the Separation Started In the summers before his junior and senior years of high school, Stone got drunk on our family’s lake vacations. Both years, he also drank at his proms, letting us know his plans beforehand. He was proud he hadn’t drunk

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Are You Holding On to What You've Outgrown?

Are You Holding On to What You’ve Outgrown?

My teenage daughter has a birthday coming up. While looking through old photographs, I came across one with a big gap-toothed grin that almost wrecked me. There is something about gaps in a kid’s smile that tugs at my heart.  A gap that will be filled with a tooth slightly too big for their five-year-old face. Adult teeth look so funny on a little kid and it takes years to grow into them. I remember snooping through my parent’s drawers as a kid and finding a few baby teeth. These old teeth both fascinated and disgusted me. One person I know took it one step further and saved her baby’s umbilical cord.  Cords are smelly and scabby and I couldn’t wait for

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Who's the boss

Who’s the Boss? 5 Ways to Be the One in Charge

Whether you have a two-year-old or a 10-year-old there are some days you may wonder who is in charge. It certainly doesn’t feel like it’s you. You won’t win every battle nor should you expect to.  You can’t put it upon yourself to effectively crack the whip, so to speak, impeccably correcting each and every transgression any child is capable of. But there are a few absolutes you need to incorporate into your life just to keep peace on the home front, guide your kids toward acceptable behavior, and some days, to simply maintain your sanity. 1. Know your child. There may come a time when you find your child disassembling the new toy that you spent an hour on just successfully

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The-Reality-of-STDs-Hard-Conversations-You-Need-to-Have

The Reality of STDs: Hard Conversations You Need to Have

There truly are some conversations we would much rather avoid. The ones that create angst in both the discussion starter and the recipient, whose terrified expression is begging you not to continue! An honest talk about STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) has to be in life’s top five! This is definitely not sunny chatter over the dinner table, or light banter with the store clerk like you’re talking about the fair weather. But the reality is that our current societal statistics require us to have these talks. We absolutely must have them with our children. We absolutely must have them with our dating partner. Today’s studies tell us 1 in 4 females between the age of 15 and 24 have an STD*, currently a full

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Men and Women Equal Not Identicial

Men and Women Are Equal, but Not Identical

From the first moment a little girl announces, “When I grow up I’m gonna be a…” her parents tell her that she certainly will be. She can do whatever she dreams, and that’s true. If she loves sports—they’re all available. Education? Any field of study is obtainable. Career path? There is none blocked. This generation has all the “equal rights” created by the resolute females of the 20th century. Courageous ladies desiring the privilege to vote, to pursue higher education, and to have careers that matched their talents fought this battle. They changed our world. It is them we should thank for giving our daughters a future without limitations. Yet, as each daughter enters her teen years, most realize that the level playing field of opportunity

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If Your Kid is Being Bad, Does That Make You a Bad Mom 2

Your Bad Kid Doesn’t Make You a Bad Mom

You have just received your first phone call, the one every mother dreads and hopes to never receive. The preschool wants you to know that your child is hitting or biting or kicking. That little guy or girl, who has never shown this behavior before, has apparently turned into the class tyrant. It was in kindergarten when my daughter demonstrated her prowess in tormenting others. I dropped this sweet, little dressed up diva at her elementary school and all was going relatively well for the first few months. Then I received my first phone call. She had kicked a little boy. This led to discussion, punishment, and resolution. A week went by and then I got the next call; she had hit another student.

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Talking to Your Teens About the Grey Area

Talking to Your Teens About the Grey Area

The Grey Area. It’s not black and white. It’s blurry. It’s the place in dating relationships that nobody talks about. While they may not act like it, our teenagers find safety in boundaries, and they want direction in defining them. As you know, it’s all too common that a variety of media platforms inform and shape our teenagers’ perspectives of what dating and marriage should look like. How do we step into this? Teenagers Want to Talk About the Grey Areas This past fall, a good friend of mine and I asked a group of high school girls if they would be interested in discussing these tricky topics. The group of girls consisted of about 12 high school juniors and seniors. We were delighted and

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10 Surprising Things I Learned About Cancer as an Oncology Nurse

10 Surprising Things I Learned About Cancer as an Oncology Nurse

During my third year of nursing school I knew I wanted to be an oncology nurse. Not your typical route for a 20-year-old girl. When I started my major, I thought I wanted to do labor and delivery because how fun would that be? But those hormonal women were too much for me. Then I thought since I loved kids I should probably do pediatrics, but it was the kids’ parents that were so demanding and untrusting. And then, in my third year during my med/surg rotation, I had patient after patient with cancer, and I felt a connection to each one of them. Which leads me to the first thing I learned… 1. Cancer patients are the best patients in the hospital.

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If You Want To Get Healthy Do These 5 Things

If You Want To Get Healthy, Do These 5 Things

For a girl whose dietary and lifestyle choices once included generous amounts of Cheez-Its, menthol cigarettes, and energy drinks mixed with vodka, the desire to get healthy was overwhelming at first. I’m not going to lie…doing a massive overhaul on my (not-so-healthy) habits was downright hard. I wasn’t sure what foods my body would benefit from, so I tested popular diets and eliminated trigger foods. I wanted to find cost-effective ways to incorporate more organic produce, so I found good deals and discounted products I could add to my recipe rotation. I began exercising on a consistent basis, and instead of automatically reaching for my former go-to substances during times of stress, I explored spiritual practices that seemed to calm my mental

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This Is How to Use Your Gifts to Build Your Business

This Is How to Use Your Talents to Build Your Business

Recently, I learned something that absolutely shocked me: the average American spends 90,000 hours at work over the course of their lifetime. That’s more than 10 whole years of your one and only life—at work! If you love your job, maybe that doesn’t seem like much of a sacrifice. But if you’re among the 70% of Americans who report being unhappy at work, that’s a whole lot of precious time wasted. But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be that way. Imagine what it would be like to work for yourself. To set your own hours, work from home, earn an extra income for your family, and help people by using your gifts! Sound too good to be true? Well,

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The Thief I Let In: A day In the Life of a Working Mom

The Thief I Let In: A Day in the Life of a Working Mom

It was a typical morning. The alarm went off at 6:40 a.m. Snooze was hit once. There was a sleepy, teething baby girl that took over the spot of my husband, who had left for work. Our son was already up, sitting on the couch and watching cartoons. His pleading for pre-packaged blueberry muffins woke up his sister. Ready or not, it was time to kick it into high gear and get ready for school and work. Sounds of the blender, breast pump, and electric toothbrushes filled the house. A computer charger, matching sock, and school folder couldn’t be found. Then, the realization that I didn’t have a sitter for my daughter for that afternoon’s work meeting, the lab stealing the last

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When-Life-Gives-You-a-New-Normal

When Life Gives You a New Normal

I wouldn’t have given it a name, the gut-wrenching, upside down and inside out change in my life. But I was at a weekend women’s retreat led by a well-known author and speaker whose son had been sentenced to life in prison for killing a pedophile, and she called the rocking of my world my “new normal.” At the time, all I could think was, “What the heck could be remotely normal about transforming in an instant from being a wife to a widow and single mom? I don’t want a new normal!” Many of us squirm over the term “normal” for implying that we’re all alike and our lives are parallel. Nothing is further from the truth; we’re all amazingly unique

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daring to go filterless how social media is impacting women and what we can do about it

Daring to Go Filterless: How Social Media Is Impacting Women and What We Can Do About It

Scrolling social media, I see women who are painted like porcelain dolls with tiny waists and thick-alicious hips. I see images of perfection that are totally disproportionate and unattainable. And what is worse: this dangerous trend now compels me. I find myself searching frantically for the perfect filter before I post a pic, the one that looks “natural” or like I’m just the right age (younger than I am). If I can’t find it, then I spend way too much time adjusting the lighting and color saturation; maybe I’ll even add one of those funky (and slightly creepy) filters that make me look like an extraterrestrial, flower child, or naughty pirate. I do this, I play along, even though most days all

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