Grief

The process of grieving any loss; death as well as things such as divorce and relationships. The reality of the emotions as well as the process toward healing.

A Note to Women Grieving on Mother's Day

A Note to Women Grieving on Mother’s Day

I won’t pretend to know or even understand all the situations that could make a woman grieve around the celebrations of Mother’s Day. I also won’t pretend to understand the unimaginable pain of losing a child. For Those Grieving on Mother’s Day What I can tell you is that I have grieved. Sometimes I still grieve, and not just on Mother’s Day—but maybe on a random Tuesday too. Like many of you, I’ve been on both sides of Mother’s Day being difficult to celebrate. I lost my mom; actually buried my mom four days before Mother’s Day 20 years ago. I’ve also grieved because I longed to be a mother so badly. Grief would rear its ugly head at pregnancy announcements for […]

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When You Feel Lost, God Will Find You

When You Feel Lost, God Will Find You

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) It’s true what they say: God knows how to call his children back to him. He’s the one who created us, after all. With a week off of school for spring break (and no research papers, video projects or other tedious graduate work due), I finally had a chance to decompress. The previous six months had delivered an unending supply of due dates, elaborate holiday planning and writing opportunities that were too good to pass up. So, to make time for it all, I cut out anything and everything that I felt got in the way of me getting ahead. One of those was my morning Bible study. Big mistake. Stepping Back to

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How Do I Deal with Grief During the Holidays? with Nancy Hicks – 170

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreMaybe this is your first year—or one of several—trying to balance the joy of the holidays with grief over a loss. The conflicted feelings can make it difficult to celebrate or even consider being around others. Speaker and author Nancy Hicks joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to discuss how we can come to terms with our grief when the holidays are approaching. Nancy speaks from her grief journey after dealing with the loss of her son this year. She encourages us to give ourselves grace as we experience the vast set of emotions that accompany loss, and shares some ways we can cope with

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how to find joy even when your circumstances hurt

How to Find Joy Even When Your Circumstances Hurt

As I sat in the emergency room beside my dad’s bed, again, as he slept quietly, I asked myself and truthfully asked God, “Where is the joy in this?” Years before, God and I began a journey. It was a journey to find joy, and I was excited about the trip. I longed to have the joy I felt I had once experienced in my life. As God and I started journeying and I started learning and trusting Him more, the joy began to grow. But how do you stay on a joy journey when the man you’ve called dad and friend for 40 years begins a battle for his very life? Doesn’t the pursuit of joy get put on a back

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Our Plans are Not Promises, But God Is Still Good

Our Plans Are Not Promises, But God Is Still Good

Whether we realize it or not, we all plan ahead of time. Making plans keeps us organized and focused on the objective ahead, whether it’s determining what to make for dinner, organizing a family vacation, or achieving goals. I keep track of everything in my personal planner; I’ll forget something if I do not write it down, and I also need to know what to expect from the rest of my day. Any interruptions beyond what’s written in my planner annoy me because they take me away from what I need or want to do. But our plans are not promises. What happens if they don’t pan out? With No Plans in Place, I Was Worried For me, the past year has

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Now that I’m Grieving My Mom, I Wish I Appreciated Her More

Growing up, I had a tendency to act like a spoiled brat whenever I didn’t get my way. Many people have done this, I know, but what took my behavior to the next level was that no matter which parent made the decision to tell me, “No,” I would always take my frustrations out on my mother. It didn’t matter what the situation was or why I couldn’t have my way, my mom was always the victim of my emotions. In between complaints about how everyone else’s parents got them xyz or how everyone else’s parents let them do xyz, I would berate my mom with incredibly harsh and seemingly unforgivable words and sometimes even become destructive (on more than one occasion,

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grieving our dog revealed the power of family love

Grieving Our Dog Revealed the Power of Family Love

Unlike many families we know, our family, thankfully, has experienced very little death or illness. Our kids have been to less than five funerals in their whole lives, and as their parents, we aren’t too far off of that number either. We’ve lived relatively grief-free for decades. Recently, however, we had to euthanize one of our beloved dogs upon the advice of our veterinarian. For many people, dogs truly are a member of the family. It takes all of 10 seconds for a puppy to be forever a part of your heart. If you know, you know. Grieving our dog is hard, and sometimes still painful, but it’s teaching me a lot about the power of family love. Remembering Our Beloved Dog,

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the loss of my son is changing how i teach my children healthy emotions

Losing My Son Has Changed How I Teach My Children Healthy Emotions

I’m a mom of three boys, and while I know from experience that prepubescent girls have their own struggles, I am beginning to learn about the struggles of prepubescent boys. My ten-year-old middle son had one of those days today. It was one of those days where it feels like everything is going wrong. He got his first zit, didn’t sleep well last night, and everything just feels “icky” as he stated it. It makes me feel terrible to see him this way. My initial emotional reaction is always the same, “Quick, make him feel better!” Just as quickly as that thought appears, it fades and my reasoning takes over. In my head, I know that I am robbing him of integral

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life is fragile what my moms illness has taught me

Life Is Fragile: What My Mom’s Illness Has Taught Me

In middle school, we had well-meaning, completely-out-of-touch teachers (according to us) who thought that it was important to include “life lessons” as part of the curriculum. These lessons included how to write a check (long before Venmo or PayPal), how to open a bank account, how to respond when our bodies started to develop and what on earth a maxi pad was—just to name a few. I Learned a Big Lesson in Middle School: Life Is Fragile One of these lessons we were unwillingly tasked with was carrying around an egg all day. We were informed that this smooth, white egg was representative of our baby child. “Raising a kid is tough,” one male teacher noted. “This will show you how very

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Behind Her Struggle With Alcohol With Lindsey Encinias – 161

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreIs social drinking just a glass of wine at dinner (the answer is yes), or can it become something else (the answer is also yes)? Current statistics show that many women find themselves in a struggle with alcohol, experiencing a significant upswing after the stress of 2020. With this knowledge in hand, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender interview Lindsey Encinias, writer for Grit and Grace, who bravely shares her battle overcoming alcoholism. In this personal story, she recounts contributing factors- her family history, the tragic loss of her father while she was a teenager, and wrestling with her identity after leaving an exciting corporate role

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my grandmothers taught me the true strength of a woman

How My Grandmothers Left a Legacy of True Strength

The other day I was in my spring-cleaning groove, jamming along to the new Taylor Swift album when suddenly, I found myself completely moved, crying over the Clorox… “And if I didn’t know better I’d think you were talking to me now If I didn’t know better I’d think you were still around” These lyrics are about Taylor’s grandma, Marjorie, and they resonated with me so deeply. My grandmothers both left this earth over a decade ago, yet that mark of time still feels strange. For those of you who have experienced grief and loss of loved ones, you probably can relate to how the moment of loss can feel like just yesterday or a lifetime ago all in the same minute.

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Episode 101 Julie Graham's untold story

Julie Graham’s Untold Story of Heartbreak, Healing and Hope – 101 This Grit and Grace Life

In this gripping and emotional podcast, Grit and Grace Life‘s own Julie Bender (previously Julie Graham), brand ambassador and podcast co-host, talks about the sudden loss of her husband and the difficult season of marriage that preceded it. Now, more than two years later, Julie shares the heartache that accompanied raising her son as a single mom and how she turned to her faith to for strength and encouragement during a time that was anything but stable.

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Episode 96 grace filled friend

This Grit and Grace Life Podcast Preview – Episode 96 How to Be a Grace-Filled Friend in Hard Times

When we have a friend or family member going through a difficult season, our instinct is to make them feel better, as quickly as we know how. While we want to be available for our loved ones during tough times, they may not want our consolation or advice. Often, these friends want more than words: They want our support, our love and assurance that we’ll be around when they’re ready to open up. In this podcast episode, Darlene and Julie discuss practical ways that we can offer grace and show up during our loved ones’ toughest times.

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This is How My Son's Suicide Rocked My Faith

My Faith Was Rocked by My Son’s Suicide

The world as I knew it ended on July 19, 2015. It was a day that shook my faith and my sanity. I walked into the basement suite in my home. My son was renting the suite from us and I needed to talk to him. I found him lying on his side, in the fetal position. He had a rifle between his legs. He was lying in a puddle. The puddle was black, and it took me a split second for it to sink in that it was blood. I turned on my heels and ran back upstairs, screaming and sobbing for my husband to call 911. The next few hours were a blur of police, emergency personnel, and the coroner’s

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Ask Dr. Zoe - How Do I Set Boundaries with My Invasive Mother-in-Law? feature image

Ask Dr. Zoe – Can I Move on From Child Loss With Motherhood Regrets?

‘Cray in Carolinas’ Asked: My son died at 21 years and I struggle with memories of times I was not the mom I wished I was at times … how do I erase that tape? Dr. Zoe Answered: Oh, mama, my heart aches for you. Those intrusive thoughts are the worst and it seems that they are never the memories of all the amazing mom moments that you had—only the mistakes and regrets. We all make mistakes and if your son had continued to live, you would have continued to make them. You would have continued to have the great mom moments too! One frustrating part of grieving is the bargaining stage where you are right now (which we can cycle in

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What Your Grieving Friend Really Wants You to Know (video)

Nothing embodies “grit and grace” quite like a grief journey—and this is true whether the person grieving is you or someone you love. Grief brings about a rollercoaster of emotions that vary with each individual. No one grief journey is the same as someone else’s. And because of that, it’s important to be sensitive to someone’s emotions and the memory of the person they lost. This is often difficult, and, if we’re being honest, a bit awkward. Our natural instinct is to reach out and shoulder some of the pain for our friend, to erase some of the sadness that has infiltrated her life. But in doing so, we stumble over our words, offer empty phrases intended to be encouraging, or try

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Now Is the Time to Get Comfortable With Grief

How to Get Comfortable With Your Grief

Dan, a cancer widower, answered my questions as I tapped away on my laptop. I was interviewing him for an article about a shower truck—this really cool ministry for the homeless in our community. He’d had a significant part in designing and converting the truck into two shower rooms, one for men and one for women. And now that it’s functional, he serves as a driver and facilitator of the ministry. After the interview, we lingered over hot beverages, exchanging our common experiences as long-term cancer caregivers. He teared up a couple times during the conversation and seemed almost apologetic. “I’m not normally an emotional guy,” he said as he wiped away grief that was leaking from his eyes. “Just when I

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