Create Healthy Relationships in Your Grit and Grace Life

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do You Make Friends as an Adult?

‘Taylor’ Asked: How do you make friends as an adult? Dr. Zoe Answered: No one tells us that it’s so much harder to make friends as an adult than when you were a kid. Rest assured, you and a trillion other adults have the same problem. In adulthood, friendships tend to be pocketed, consisting of different circles of interest. And then there are those that stand the test of time, which can be few and far between. Making new friends really isn’t much different than dating. I know dating can be nerve-wracking, so let’s go with a shopping metaphor instead. If you want to find a new BFF, you have to first put yourself out there and then be willing to try […]

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Ask Dr. Zoe — He Still Hasn’t Proposed – Is It Time to Walk Away?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Kerry’ Asked: Hi Dr Zoe. I am almost 33 years old, and have been in a relationship for just over 2 years. I was single for many years before finding him, and have been SO in love for the last 2 years. He comes from a family that’s been divorced multiple times on both sides, and even he was engaged once and it fell through (although he will not discuss his prior relationships practically at all). I have spoken openly over the years about how I 100% want to get married someday and have a family, and he always agreed that he wanted the same thing. But here we are, 26 months later, and he still hasn’t proposed— he isn’t ready to

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How Do I Deal with Grief During the Holidays? with Nancy Hicks – 170

By This Grit & Grace Life Podcast / Podcast, Relationships

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreMaybe this is your first year—or one of several—trying to balance the joy of the holidays with grief over a loss. The conflicted feelings can make it difficult to celebrate or even consider being around others. Speaker and author Nancy Hicks joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to discuss how we can come to terms with our grief when the holidays are approaching. Nancy speaks from her grief journey after dealing with the loss of her son this year. She encourages us to give ourselves grace as we experience the vast set of emotions that accompany loss, and shares some ways we can cope with

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Ask Dr. Zoe — How Do I Revive My Disconnected Marriage After Retirement?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Sandytoes’ Asked: My husband and I have been together since ‘83—married for 30+. He’s been retired for four years at 55—I’ve been a stay-at-home mom-wife for more than 20. I’m lonely in my marriage. He climbed the corporate ladder—after more than 12 moves across the country, for many years he was married to his job, our two kids and I were taken care of with no emotional or physical abuse by him. […] During our many moves I just started to see our relationship take a back seat as far as communication. (The kids are in two different states from where we are, and it’s very hard for me.) I came close to divorce about 16 years ago. I couldn’t stand his

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Now that I’m Grieving My Mom, I Wish I Appreciated Her More

By Amber Koehn / Relationships

Growing up, I had a tendency to act like a spoiled brat whenever I didn’t get my way. Many people have done this, I know, but what took my behavior to the next level was that no matter which parent made the decision to tell me, “No,” I would always take my frustrations out on my mother. It didn’t matter what the situation was or why I couldn’t have my way, my mom was always the victim of my emotions. In between complaints about how everyone else’s parents got them xyz or how everyone else’s parents let them do xyz, I would berate my mom with incredibly harsh and seemingly unforgivable words and sometimes even become destructive (on more than one occasion,

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Get My Husband to Seek Help for His Depression?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Chatty in Nooga’ Asked: I’m pretty sure my husband is struggling with bipolar disorder/depression. My dad has it, so I’m aware of what it can look like. My husband knows when he’s in a dark place. He’s openly admitted that it’s been very dark recently and we’ve had discussions about him seeking help. He seems open to it in the moment but comes out of it and never pursues counseling. He’s admitted he’s scared of what they’ll say and of being medicated as he was previously many years ago, which made it worse at that time. We currently have A LOT on our marriage plate, some issues stemming from things I believe are due to his mental state and others just life,

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For Shirley, the Wonderful Neighbor Who Made Everyone Feel Special

By Amy Fisher Quinn / Relationships

The air on the porch was heavy and the cicadas chanted their morning prayers. I peered past the redwood fence separating our yard from that of the most wonderful neighbor. Katie concentrated, brushing her Barbie’s tresses. “Did you hear anything?” I asked my sister. “Nope,” she responded. I wondered how much longer it would be. “We’re so hot, Mom,” I yelled into the kitchen. “It’s not even 10:00,” said Mom. “Not yet.” Clink. The pool gate, a sure sign that it was time. My heart raced a bit. I was 9 years old, and it was time to go swimming. Past the pool towels that danced, long and loose on the clothes line, popped a sun-glassed head. “You girls wanna swim?” she

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Ask Dr. Zoe – I’m Separated From My Husband, Should I Move Closer to Him for Our Son?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Michelle79’ Asked: My husband and I are separated. He had severe addiction issues and went to rehab multiple times. It finally “stuck” in California. He lives there now. I live in NJ with our 6 year old son. My son was super close to him and misses him terribly. I have no desire to move to California, but am I doing my son a disservice by not going? There is no guarantee his dad and I would work it out anyway even if I lived there. Am I being selfish for staying in NJ with my son? Dr. Zoe Answered: It’s interesting to me that you didn’t ask if he was being selfish for not moving back to New Jersey where his

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I Might Be a Good Mom, But It Can Make Me a Bad Wife

I’m a Good Mom, but Can That Make Me a Bad Wife?

By Laila Schell / Relationships

I feel like I’m being pulled in every direction lately. Like I can’t quite reach the mark. I remember when I was working, I used to dream of all the things I would accomplish when I was on maternity leave. The house would be clean, the kids would have beautifully cut shapes of fruits and veggies in their lunch, and my husband would get all the attention he deserves. Fast forward 10 months and one more baby later, and while I find that my house is slightly cleaner and my kids are happier because I am home and they have after-school snacks and decent lunches (no starfish though), my husband still gets put on the backburner. Which makes me feel like a great mom

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Trapped in a Past Relationship? Here’s the Best Way to Move On

By Ashley Vancil / Relationships

Treading the waters of the “single” world and learning to move on from a past relationship can be tough. I never imagined that I would be in my mid-30s, divorced and single. Let us throw in dating as a single mama of three. It seemed like such a daunting, impossible task. Until one day it wasn’t. I’ve spent the majority of the past few years focusing on my health, mental healing, and doing some deep soul work in order to grow. I realized that it’s hard to break away from a relationship because humans, by nature, are not meant to be alone. The pain we feel coming out of a relationship is often the result of looking to someone else to feel

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5 Ways for a Busy Mom to Prioritize Intimacy With Her Husband

By Caroline Beidler / Relationships

My husband and I have a new tradition called “sweet o’clock.” We plan out the evening ahead of time, and I make a homemade treat, one of our favorites being a new flavor of homemade ice cream. As soon as the kids go to bed, we smile and head to the kitchen. On tough days (we are currently living through the “terrific twos” with twins), we will hint at our little secret and delicious rendezvous throughout the day. “Sweet o’clock night,” I will whisper as the kids are screaming from their high chairs or doing superhuman squirms to get out of changing their pull-up. I might be ready to pull out my own hair, or have one of those bathroom-cry moments that

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Remarriage Later in Life: Are the Complications Worth It?

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) “Do I really want to do this?” I asked myself. I boarded a roller coaster car about four years into widowhood. The lettering on the side of the car read: “Dating and Possible Remarriage.” The bumpy ride was a lot of loop-de-loops and scary ups and downs. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to remain on this not-so-fun ride. “It would be so much easier to never remarry.” I’m Afraid of Remarriage Because… Take family, for example. I’d been married to my first husband 41 years. These sisters-in-law were my sisters, the sisters I never had while growing up sandwiched between two brothers. These nieces and nephews—they were mine. Would a new husband

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Start Dating After Divorce?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Ready to Date Again’ Asked: After a 20 year marriage failed, almost 10 years of counseling and working on myself, I’m ready to date again. But how do I trust again? How do I get out there to find the “right” guy? I thought it would happen naturally, but it hasn’t. Dr. Zoe Answered: Congratulations!! You have done the hard work, and now comes the fun (and a little more work). “Meeting naturally” is an interesting idea. Plenty of people assume that if they meet purposefully then somehow there is something less natural about their beginning. I call that hogwash. You can naturally meet plenty of people who are not relationship material. And you can purposefully meet your soulmate if you are

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Don’t Let Rejection Dictate Your Worth

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships

Unbidden tears trickled down my face. I was writing in a coffee shop, and a man said he would meet me as soon as he finished his business. Hours went by without hearing from him. And so I packed up my laptop and gave myself permission to sob all the way home. After three years of widowhood, I thought I was ready to date and maybe even consider getting married again. A roller coaster came to a stop, and I boarded one of the cars. Over the next year or two, that carnival ride took me up and down and all around in loop-de-loops of rejection and indecision. “I think I can do this.” And then, “Um, no. This feels like I’m

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Are You Settling for a Red Flag Guy?

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships

“What do you do to your hair?” he asked. My red hair had faded to a nice shade of strawberry blonde through the years, and now a strip of white framed my face. “I know that women in this outdoorsy community like to let their hair go white, but I hope you won’t,” said the man with the white hair. That same day he asked, “Do you like to dress up or wear makeup?” Um, you just took me to a movie, not Carnegie Hall. I’m wearing a cute sweater, my favorite jeans, dressy boots, and makeup, thank you. Apparently, this man wanted me to change my outward appearance. It was a red flag. But I didn’t recognize it as such. Are

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By The Grit and Grace Team / Relationships

About this photo: “My in-laws were in town, so naturally, I did my best to hide the mounds of laundry I had yet to get to. I tucked all the baskets away near my husband’s closet and shut the door. Low and behold, when playing hide and seek, my kids led my in-laws directly to said laundry pile. Kids are really good at taking your filter off!” —Katie Cress, writer for Grit and Grace Life Being #filterless In Our Relationships Relationships are tricky to navigate to begin with. But when we start piling on the expectations of others, we’re easily frustrated and disappointed when those expectations aren’t met. Did you know that it’s not just others’ expectations we’re burdened with—it’s

my grandmothers taught me the true strength of a woman

How My Grandmothers Left a Legacy of True Strength

By Katie Cress / Relationships

The other day I was in my spring-cleaning groove, jamming along to the new Taylor Swift album when suddenly, I found myself completely moved, crying over the Clorox… “And if I didn’t know better I’d think you were talking to me now If I didn’t know better I’d think you were still around” These lyrics are about Taylor’s grandma, Marjorie, and they resonated with me so deeply. My grandmothers both left this earth over a decade ago, yet that mark of time still feels strange. For those of you who have experienced grief and loss of loved ones, you probably can relate to how the moment of loss can feel like just yesterday or a lifetime ago all in the same minute.

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