Self Worth

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; beautiful in every way.” (Song of Solomon 4:7) Rarely have I been so stunned I forgot to breathe. It was another day, another walk, a part of the daily routine. I was bundled up and bounding down the front porch steps, mentally running through my to-do list. Reaching the sidewalk, I paused, looked up, and realized this was no ordinary day. During the night, a white blanket had quietly covered the earth. Now, the rising sun revealed a sky colored with muted shades of blue and pink and snow that sparkled like glitter from my children’s long-forgotten art projects. I Don’t Feel Worthy… It was magical; exquisite, really. Exquisite isn’t a word I use often; in

When I was a little girl, I remember sitting in the car as my dad drove us to the San Francisco Bay Area. Although I can’t remember why we were going, or if all of my family was together for the ride, one thing sticks out quite vividly. As we drove past a hill, I looked out the window and saw a herd of cattle. I asked my dad why the cows didn’t fall off the hill, and he replied, “They’re surefooted.” I didn’t realize how impactful that particular word would be throughout my adult years, or how many times it would come back up for me. But in that moment, my dad imparted a word in my spirit that would be

As I sat in that stuffy, little room listening to the woman on stage, I looked around at the other women—some nodding along, some with eyes glistening with unshed tears—all with rapt attention. I listened to her testimony, heard her words, walked through her journey with the Lord. And with a bitter inward sigh, I thought to myself, “That’s it? That’s the best you’ve got?” Her story, it was beautiful. Her faith, it was unwavering and strong through the peaks and valleys of her life. I should have felt inspired by her testimony. I knew it took courage and strength for her to sit up there, in front of her peers, and bare her soul in words as personal as any words

Instead of lounging poolside or sharing a plate of barbeque with friends, I kicked-off this past summer by spending Memorial Day weekend in the emergency room with severe vomiting and dehydration. After conferring with several doctors over the past few months and undergoing allergy and blood tests, I’ve recently discovered I have a rare syndrome that isn’t super well-known within the medical community, much less the general population. Everything I put in my mouth must now be hyper-scrutinized to keep this uncommon condition from sending me into septic shock. To be honest, I haven’t been quite sure what to make of this diagnosis and I’ve been all over the map emotionally. Questions such as what this means for me long-term, how long

Are there times you wonder if you’ll ever find complete fulfillment? As a stay at home mom, I am often chasing after something, whether it be my family, blogging, friends, or my appearance. All of those things leave me with a slight emptiness, even motherhood. I adore my son, and I know motherhood is a gift. But, even in motherhood, I struggle to find my worth. Am I good enough as a mom? Could I be better? Am I doing this right? All these questions flood my mind on a daily basis and call in wonder over whether or not I am right for my son. Could someone else have done a better job? I know in my heart that the answer